Cap’n Cranky’s Week 8 Picks
Chargers at Broncos.
Peyton Manning is a lot like ebola. He can kill you if your defenses are compromised, and I’m sick to fucking hell of hearing about him. Manning, TD record, ebola ebola ebola. Ebola, Manning TD record, ebola ebola ebola. Manning, ebola, Manning, ebola. Mannibola. Emanning. Emannibola.
These teams would be pretty evenly matched if it weren’t for the Chargers’ injuries in the secondary. With Brandon Flowers out and Jason Verrett likely out, Emmanibola should be able to find the holes in the secondary. Ex-Steeler Emmanuel Sanders (no relation to Emmanibola) has 514 yards receiving this year, second to teammate Demarius Thomas (662), but more than any of the Chargers receivers (Malcolm Floyd, 412; Antonio Gates, 363; Keenan Allen, 354; Eddie Royal, 345). Ain’t none of them Antonio Brown (719), but that’s a different discussion.
Given the secondary issues and the short week trip to Denver, I’m tempted to see this as another Thursday blowout. I’m also tempted to figure out names for the love child of Peyton Manning and Emmanuel Sanders: Emmaniemannibola? But I also think that this being a division game with two otherwise closely matched foes, and a solid coach in San Diego’s Mike McCoy, could see the near-TD spread wind up being eroded in a comeback attempt. Still, I can’t help thinking: what if the Manning-Sanders love child was then spliced with former Rams TE Brandon Manumaleuna, would we have Emmaniemannimanumaleu nebola? It certainly makes one think.
Broncos 28, Chargers 20, as a late rally fizzles.