Normally, I like Jaws.
That's your first mistake. Dude is a hack and he's been average in everything he's done in the NFL.
Seriously. His achievements as a pro: took a team to the Super Bowl (and got their ass beat) a la Grossman, Eason, and Kerry Collins. He's Matt Hasselbeck except with way worse numbers.
He can't pick games if his life depended on it.
He had some weird, borderline-unprofessional relationship with his coach Dick Vermeil and people still credit him for their nice little kinship. It's been thirty years after the fact and the act is still going on. Neither one can be interviewed about football without one mentioning the other. I'm not saying it's gay or anything just that Jaws like's watching men on film, Vermeil cries all the time, and the performance of the two of them announcing the second game of last year's MNF doubleheader (where they basically made out with one another) helped Jaworski land the Monday Night gig this year. That gave Ronnie the forum to drop the infamous week two (during a Bengals game discussion about Chad, Jeremi, Rudi and almost TJ Housh) quote of: "...And you know who's the biggest Johnson?!" before ESPN thankfully went to commercial....just before he said something like "My man ****'s ****!!!"
Furthermore, Jaworski has all that "special" access to NFL supplied end-zone game film. AKA "The same film that the coaches are using" (save for Belichick) or whatever. Despite that, Jaworski provides very little insight as to breaking down X's and O's. Seriously it's always one or two plays, out of 100 some, where he can highlight something obvious....
First off: The angle sucks. It's nice to see the whole play develop but fercrissakes do we need to be 6 miles away from the turf? Joe Montana Football for Sega Genesis thinks the quality is supbar. It's so far away, man. God forbid the Goodyear blimp fly in the way of the shot and block some action. Does ESPN have to pay NASA to put that camera on their spaceship?
Secondly I went to the Steelers game yesterday, and while Jaws knows a TON more than I do, I called out at least 3 plays that I remember (that wide open out to Nate from the four-wide...AKA "Turn around and look for the ball, Washington!!", the draw to Ward, and even an audible that went to Santonio for his longest rec). So anyone can do it for a bit.
Third, in a desperate attempt to get back my train of thought: They run the footage and it's 3rd and 10 where Detroit runs some guy in motion to set up trips to one side, everyone curls around, it gets covered, and Kitna "progressed through is reads" before chucking up and 8 yard wobbler that Megatron Johnson catches, runs someone over and gets the first down. Great innovation by Martz and wily veteran poise by Kitna. Either that or it's some play accenting that attention to LaDanian Tomlinson leads to Gates being open on a play-action call. Thanks a million.
Maybe I just don't like the guy but I swear that Hoge clearly provides much better insight on the Edge NFL Matchup show and ESPN1/2/News/WTFever. Also the NFL Network show "Playbook" (which I've only seen like twice) has been a revelation and offers better info than the Jaws breakdowns. Notably led Sterling Sharpe (best in the business...and not just because he was my main man whenever I first started playing ball), Baldinger, and ex-Steelers great Solomon Wilcots.
I hope to God that at some point this season Kornheiser chooses to reflect on the bond between a QB and "receiver" by saying "they go together like dick and jaws" so that they both get fired. Bring back Dennis Miller. Or just put Sterling Sharpe on.
My main beef with Jaws is that he's monumentally overrated. He can't pick games. AND he seems to hate Ben Roethlisberger. Seriously produce some evidence otherwise. I don't know if it's that he just doesn't know how good Ben has been, or is capable of being, or if he's just hating on the kid ? Because he never gives him credit. I will give Jaworski the benefit of the doubt. I'll say he does see it and he is just afraid that Roethsliberger, the multi-talented physically-gifted Super Bowl winning 25-year-old with Euro roots, will steal some of his "Polish Rifle" thunder.
That has to be it.
I personally believe (as does Ms South Carolina I am sure) that "The Polish Rifle" is an offensive nickname. I mean guns are bad to begin with. I understand the 2nd amendment protection effort but the only person around that actually signed it was New England TE Benjamin Watson...oh he wasn't? Well his name sounds like it.
You also have to consider that some firearm built by the Poles could put us all in jeopardy. Especially them. And then we WOULD never get to see a Pole
on Jeopardy. /racist
Jaws was a scrappy hard-worker (aka underskilled in most areas) who was revered in Philly because he was "The Polish Rifle", and more accurately: a white dude.
Nevermind the facts of his .500 record, a few more QBs-to-INTs, etc....his one Super Bowl appearance is enough to make him a hero. Yet everyone is quick to ignore the Super Bowl appearance, multiple NFC playoff berths, title game appearances, NFL F'N MVPs, and records set by guys like Randall Cunningham and Donovan McNabb. I've seen them both booed the hell off the field.
In all seriousness that's the best thing Jaws ever had going for him. That whole "Polish Rifle" shtick. That and his sweet, sexy beard. I mean, uhh, that's what Dick Vermiel told me to say.
