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Author Topic: Tomlin, Arians, Oline have copped it. Why not WIZ  (Read 2465 times)
timmons=lloyd
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« on: Dec 19, 2007 at 04:42 »

Tomlin, Arians, Oline have copped it. Why not the 'wizard' Lebeau.

He has players falling for playaction when sides don't pass and gameplanning is poor.

In consecutive weeks we have been slaughtered through the air and this week on the ground.

This bloke gets away scot free.

I have been on to this phony for years.

50 years coaching / playing for 1 SB. Says it all really.



Dick Lebeau should be in the Hall of Shame not hall of fame.

Lebeau talks about Hall of Fame snub.

Tomlin and Lebeau - hate each other.

Leblow will not be with team in 08. He is overrated and useless. He is 72 yrs old, he **** the bed, he pisses his pants and **** his pants in video review - And he often forgets his name, forgets where his clipboard is at times, And finally - forgets where Heinz field is. Often late.

In consecutive weeks and previewing plays to run against Jags and Pats he 'asked Tomlin to tie up his shoes' as he had forgotten how.

Tomlin's response was 'Dick your being a **** - now blow yourself you silly old cunte'.

Lebeau spoke recently with a host of Steeler representatives about his being overlooked in the NFL's hall of Fame.

Dick was actually given the title - but had forgotten how to get to Canton -Ohio. Dick was born there.

I was happy he did not attend:

He should be in the Hall of Shame. To make the HOF you actually have to be half decent.

Dick is useless - like a virgin working in a brothel. Overrated - out of his depth.

ANYONE FOR TAMPA 2 ?... EFEECTIVELY A 4 MAN RUSH BY DLINE AND A COVER 3 BEHIND IT.

FARRIOR TO ALMOST GO AS FAR BACK AS SAFTEIES ON PASS PLAY. COVERING MIDDLE FIELD.

I THINK TOMLIN MUST PLAY HIS TAMPA 2 AGAINST THE Pats**** NEXT TIME AROUND...


WOODLEY LDE / HARRISON / KEISEL RDE. TIMMONS ROLB / FOOTE / HAGGANS LOLB. FARRIOR / TIMMONS MLB.

PROBABLY NEED A RDE IN DRAFT TO MAKE IT WORK.

LEBEAU'S 5 MAN BLITZ (ZONE IS USELESS) AGAINST A QUICK THROWER.

AS YOU SEE A 4 MAN RUSH WAS MAINTAINABLE BY OUR D'S LOFTY STANDARDS.

YOU DON'T BEAT THE CHEATS BY RUSHING MORE THAN 4 - YOU REALLY DON'T. ARE YOU LISTENING LE STINK?

TOMLIN COULD CONVERT OUR BASE 3-4 TO TAMPA 2 without subbing


A base 3-4 D has the 2 middle backers on the SAME level as each other...

All you would have to do is place the middle backer (2) just say FOOTE / TIMMONS 3-5 YARDS CLOSER to the safeties. FARRIOR ON OUR RIGHT SIDE STAYS THE SAME.

When he reads / knows it is pass he drops back the the safeties level... (TAMPA 2)

If he reads run / and it is a run (Anthony Smith ) he tackles the ball carrier.

WHY HASN'T TOMLIN AND LEBEAU DONE SOMETHING LIKE THIS?

IT IS IN ESSENCE THE TAMPA 2 DEFENSE - However it would be better against the run.

If the D line plays 2 gap (WHICH WE DO MOST TIMES) and Harrison IS THE BACKER COMING AFTER THE QB Foote / Timmons plays deeper than the normal MLB 2 does in a base 3-4.

It will stop the INTERMEDIATE ball - safeties do not charge until the ball is over the line of scrimmage AND in a back's hand...

ANTHONY SMITH - FALLS FOR PLAYACTION WHEN Pats**** RUN IT 8 TIMES... STAY DEEP. SAFETIES WILL STAY DEEP ALL GAME.

AN EASY WAY TO STOP PASSING SIDES... AND YOU HAVE BACKERS AND D / LINE ON THE FIELD SO NO-ONE WILL RUN ON US.

AS THE DLINE'S JOB IS TO TIE UP BLOCKERS ANYWAY THE BACKER WHO BLITZES SHOULD COME BASICALLY FREE.

EASY WAY TO FIX THE PROBLEMS WE HAD SUNDAY.

TIMMONS WOULD EXCEL AT THIS SPOT. QUICK / CAN CATCH AND CAN HIT AND STOMP ON BACKS RUNNING THE BALL.

So...

As per normal up front

but MLB'S LINE UP LIKE THIS


Timmons / FOOTE = third level


Farrior. = 2nd level


DLINE. (FIRST LEVEL)



MLB 2 (TIMMONS / FOOTE) 3-5 yards further back of their normal spot at MLB2 (CLOSER TO SAFETIES) FROM FARRIOR.

WITH HAMPTON INSIDE THE RUN UP THE MIDDLE IS AVOIDED ANYWAY.

Simple yet effective.

And oh so easy.

TAMPA 2 MADE EASY. WITHOUT SUBSTITUTING PLAYERS AND THE LIKE... GREAT AGAINST THE NO HUDDLE.
KEY IS TO ONLY RUSH 4 PEOPLE. GENERALLY D / LINE AND ONE BACKER.

ANY ZONE BLITZES (KEIESEL / SMITH) DROPPING IN TO COVERAGE HAS TO HAVE A SIMILAR RESULT. WHERE SOMEONE COVERS THE MIDDLE PART OF THE FIELD A LITTLE MORE THAN USUAL... 6 - 12 YARDS SHOULD DO IT.

Instead of a 25 yard completion it may go for 6-8. BIG DIFFERENCE.

SO IF YOU ARE PLAYING A RUN - ORIENTATED TEAM - BALTILESS - NORMAL 3-4 BASE. MIDDLE BACKERS ON SAME LEVEL.
IF YOU ARE PLAYING COLTS AND Pats**** - PASSING TEAMS - DROP THE MLB2 - Foote and Timmons further back - 5-6 yards. It is effectively the Tampa 2 (ending up the same level as safeties) = cover 3.

However with better run stoppers on the field than a normal Tampa 2, SIDES WILL NOT POWER RUN US like you can do to the colts.

The D / line. Keisel / Smith / McBean could rush just a little more. With the knowledge a run will be supported by Timmons - further back. And a pass will have a cover 2, plus Timmons playing that Tampa 2 'Mike' linebacker role. EFFECTIVELY COVER 3 And or covering the Slot reciever / or third wide out - at a deeper level. E.G WELKER.

IT WORKS. AND IT CONFUSES QB'S NO END.

Am I correct in saying... That Samuel is not a cover corner

That Asante Samuel is not a cover corner.

Asante Samuel is completely a system cornerback. His role is to play deep zone on the right hand side of the field.

The *** Pats**** - effectively have a cover 3 on everyplay.

Samuel - deep zone, the SS and FS all play a 3 deep zone.

If Harrison comes up to stop the run or play on the Tight end then...

Samuel and Hobbs will play deep zone with the free safety (Wilson , Gay). Effectively a cover 3 deep.

If you notice Samuel really does not care if you catch a 6-8 yard pass on him - the system (BELICHEAT) only asks him to play deep zone. YOU OFTEN SEE HIM CHEATING - JUMPING A ROUTE AS HE IS DEEPER THAN THE WIDE OUT HE IS GUARDING and can make a play on the ball.
Surely comebacks, outs and in routes should be played against him.

Am I correct or wrong on this fact.

Why can't Ike Taylor play the same way... he is just as quick, and a 8 yard completion is better than a 40 yarder.

Simple yet effective.

Why don't sides play 3 WR'S ON THE RIGHT AND MAKE SAMUEL HARRISON AND THE LOLB ACCOUNTABLE.

Obviously the way the Pats**** defend, they cover deep and the sidelines.

THE MIDDLE IS ENTIRELY OPEN.

MILLER AND SPAETH SHOULD HAVE SHREDDED THEM - IF THEY WERE THROWN THE BALL LAST SUNDAY.

Bookmark this post. Lawrence Timmons will be the best backer

If lined up like this he will be the greatest sack leader of all time.

FS deep. Clark / Smith gets wr3.

Pol = wr 4 (lined up with backers 2nd level. With 1st middle linbacker.

Foote = 5th wr = back. 3rd level just behind 2nd level a little more to his right.

Bmac= 2 Wr.

Ike = wr 1.

Timmons, Woodley, Smith, Haggans, Hampton, Farrior / Foote blitz everydown. Timmons plays just a little wider at ROLB. If a TE is not moved there it is SMITH and Timmons VS LT.

The Corners play 7-8 yards of wide recievers.

You get 7-8 sacks everygame. The quarterback is taken out everygame.

It is the Steelers equivalent of the chuck and duck. But as we have Hampton and Farrior inside no-one runs inisde. As the CB's are 7-8 yards off WR's they stop the outside runs. As Timmons is wider at ROLB no side runs to the left of the line. Accordingly Foote Farrior Woodley and Haggans can line up a little wider in their positions to stop the run to the right.

A great Defense. If the quarterback does get a long one off it gives you time to Carson him = out of the game for good.

This week against Carson don't let him throw the deep ball. That is the ball he is most productive at.

Can I be Defensive coordinator. You know you love it.

This is how to get Woodley and Timmons more gametime

On first Down:

RDE - Woodley

NT - Hampton (2 gap scheme) As per normal.

LDE - Haggans

ROLB - Harrison

LOLB - Foote

MLB 1 - Farrior

MLB 2 - Timmons (IN SPACE) until gets more strength.

CB 1 - Taylor

CB 2 - BMac

FS - Clark / Smith

SS - Pol

On second down: replace linebacker with defensive back. Replace Hampton with Smith. (Now nickel)

RDE - Woodley

NT - Smith (More Bull rushing / Stunting / Blitzing than Hampton.

LDE - Haggans

LOLB - Harrison

MLB 1 - Farrior

MLB 2 - Timmons

CB 1 - Taylor

CB 2 - BMac

CB 3 - Townsend

FS - Clark / Smith

SS - Pol


On third down: replace another linebacker with defensive back. Replace Smith with Kiesel. (Now Dime) Farrior gets benched for Timmons.

RDE - Woodley

NT - Keisel (More Bull rushing / Stunting / Blitzing than Hampton.

LDE - Haggans

LOLB - Harrison (Floater) Goes wherever their D line is weak. Blitz or cover area of field.

MLB 1 - Timmons

CB 1 - Taylor

CB 2 - BMac

CB 3 - Townsend

CB 4 - Smith / Clark

FS - Clark / Smith

SS - Pol


This will allow more playmakers on the field. The plan is to play FS and SS deep in a cover 2 scheme. They will clean up the run game.

All corners when they are on the field will cover the WR (everywhere they go - NO ZONE). They get support over the top from the safeties.

With only 1 Dlineman (really) on the line at times it will give Lebeau more ability to Zone blitz the backers and now (Linebackers) at the end spot.
Imagine Haggans and Woodley 'having a zone' the 'other designated blitzers' would have a field day. I love DE's who can cover as well.

You will cover everything and only send 2 or maybe 3 , 4 guys at once. NO MORE.

As we have more speed on the field we will clean up the short passing game. With Hampton / (Smith and Kiesel) on the nose (Keisel on 3rd downs or long yardage situations) we will stop the inside runs. Runs to the outside will be impossible.

Keisel and Smith and even Hampton can drop back into coverage at stages. And Smith and Keisel could QB spy and even run with running backs knowing we have 2 safeties deep.

The Zone blitz here would be amazing. Every guy could drop or rush making the other team having to max protect. Then you can send 2 maybe 3 guys and the rest are covered. And still pressure.

P.S this will work in most situations but would be near on impossible for a team to come back from 1 or more scores down.

The reality with the COLTS and Pats**** not having a 'stud' running back we could limit the passing yards and probably give the back 3 - 3.5 yards a carry.

This scheme makes the running back beat you. They don't against us.

This is great for the cap. Linebackers are less than DE / DT.

I don't know why teams pay over the odds for a DT / DE when they are one dimensional. They don't cover and are shocking against the run.

This would keep the Pats**** / COLTS to 21 to 24 points. Approx 200 yards passing. 85 - 110 on the ground. BECAUSE OF LE STINK

Can we score that against them? YES.

Against the Pats**** / COLTS we must run the football. A.v 3.8 / 4.0 yards a carry. Don't let Belicheat start nickles and Dimes. Pats**** LIKE TO SCORE FIRST. IF WE DO WE CAN WIN THIS FOOTBALL MATCH.

Is Mike Tomlin an X's and O's coach, or more like Cowher - motivator and no-more.

Please tell me it is the former.

WE DO THESE THINGS WE BEAT THE CHEATRIOTS.

That's why LEBLOW failed for me as he had the sole rights of DE's - OLB's for more than 10 years. No other side played the 3-4 for long periods. He should have 3 SB rings. Cowher never realised the Nickel and Dime Defense - be it the 3-3-5 the 2-4-5 1-4-6 can slow down teams.

That's how Belichick defeated the Giants and Rams. If I was coach against the Pats****** (Not regular game - don't give it away) but in the playoffs I would use the 2-4-5 and the 1-4-6 often. At times rush just 3 out of the 2-4-5. Using the LDE on the Tightend. Playing a cover 3. FARRIOR COVERING MIDDLE / WELKER's dumpoffs and bubble screens. MAKE THE BACK BEAT YOU WHICH RARELY EVER DOES TO PITTSBURGH.
WELKER MAKES THE Pats****** GO. YOU MUST HIT HIM,HIT HIM,HIT HIM, SIMILAR TO BELICHICK DID TO MARSHALL FAULK. (Martz and Levy should have run more) but the Pats****** can't against us even if we are in our nickels as we play the run well. I THOUGHT BELICHICK WOULD HAVE CALLED DILLON AS THEY NEED A BACK WHO THREATENS A D. MARONEY DOES NOT AT THIS STAGE. So you can sell out on the pass.
We can Belichick Belichick against the Pats******. Keep possession (use Najeh) more as a power runner against the 3-4 D.

We would need the ball 34 - 36 mins to win it. We can and will I believe come playoffs.

Why? Don't let em get behind you, and smash the WR's all day. Moss is soft, Welker avoids body contact, Stallworth = yuk.


You need to establish the run game, thats how you beat Belichick's teams. Might refer to Mike Shanahan's PLANS against him. = Good success. MUST USE NAJEH MORE. I think Mahan with Kreider's chop blocks can go ok against Wilfork - opening up the middle.

You pick on Hobbs and Bruschi and Seau in the passing game. Miller and Speath will have big games. Need to run it 40 times to win. Pick your spots. When going deep don't go to Eugene Wilson's side. 40 times = 130 - 150 yards will be enough.

Adalius Thomas is a liability in the run game and does not play like a 270 linebacker.

Believe me its do-able and we will win it. IN the cold FOXBORO. MOSS = LIABILITY.

Belichick and Brady are ego's. Loves throwing the ball - both of them. Maroney can't be trusted to carry the load. FUMBLES:

you don't think they would just run Maroney against that D? Did Faulk? Thurman Thomas? Not enough.

Brady's ego will not allow a back to run it 35 times - Corey Dillon is not there anymore. THIS IS BIG TOM BRADY'S TEAM. BEAT EGOMANIAC QB'S BY MAKING THE BACK BEAT YOU. He can't help himself, with 8 in coverage and using different zone blizes - rushing 3-4 he will get flustered. (SAN DIEGO GAME LAST YEAR)

NEW ENGLAND'S CANT AND WON'T BEAT US if they need a back to do it for them.

Will: Moss, Stallworth and Welker like not being thrown the ball. NO.

NOW... i have stated this a while back. WE WILL WIN THIS GAME.

PARKER MUST catch balls out of the back field. Atleast 7-8 catches. Belichick does not respect HB's who can run and catch. Fact.

The Slot NB should be Townsend / Timmons. Covering Welker all game.

The Pats****** RG and RT are poor. Sub in Haggans / Woodley / Timmons even Keisel at LOLB all game.

The two most underrated / important players to the Pats****** O are Welker and Watson.

All Pats****** WR's are scared. HIT HIT HIT ALL GAME. ENSURE THEY DON'T GET BEHIND YOU.

ON O SPREAD THE Pats****** OUT. 3 WR'S 1 TE 1 HB. Make sure you keep Seau and Brushi on coverage. Throw to Parker alot. Make em miss. Throw short / run long.



we win this 24 - 16.


CORRECTION: WITH KREIDER OUT IT MAY BE DAVIS, OR SPREAD EM OUT WITH NO FULLBACK AT ALL.

Willie's catching and YAC and not running is key in this game.

To beat a 3-4 D you need a POWER BACK to break through the 3 D man line and 2 OLB's who obviously are not as strong as Olineman, or should not be. Willie is not a POWERBACK unfortunately. = Davenport.

In this game make Moroney beat you. He won't. Sell out on the pass.




Anyone notice Belicheat's face when the rats only rushed 3 guys. To me it signified you never rush just 3 against the Pats******. BELICHICK'S FACE AND BODY LANGUAGE GAVE THAT AWAY.

I thought when a side is close to your goal line you blitz more as there is less area to cover. It appears Ryan stuffed up. Did opposite to this.

Blitz when side is near goalline / or within 30 yards. Play Coverage at your end of the field?

Rashean Mathis is the best corner in the game. But if we....

Rashean Mathis is the best corner in the game. But if we could get Asomosaga (s.p) from raiders (free agent) next season I wouldn't be complaining. Imagine a true Shutdown corner with Our D. Unstoppable I'll tell ya.

  Blueprint To Beat LeBeau Written In 2002 / base 3-4 to Tampa 2 in a flash. By Dagger | December 11, 2007

http://www.postgameheroes.com/?p=1905


Brett Keisel was quoted after the Steeler game saying that the defense was
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timmons=lloyd
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« Reply #1 on: Dec 19, 2007 at 04:44 »

Blueprint To Beat LeBeau Written In 2002 / base 3-4 to Tampa 2 in a flash. By Dagger | December 11, 2007

http://www.postgameheroes.com/?p=1905


Brett Keisel was quoted after the Steeler game saying that the defense was
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« Reply #2 on: Dec 19, 2007 at 05:10 »

Stop this bullshit ASAP or I will ban your arse.  Either get with the program or hit the road.

 
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« Reply #3 on: Dec 19, 2007 at 05:37 »

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Banning the post only makes me angrier.

like we give a shit if you were...its not like we had to hear you complain once you were banned.  BANNED..meaning..your NOT HERE to post your cut and paste drivel.

Tell me experts.

your only contribution...congra ts!
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« Reply #4 on: Dec 19, 2007 at 07:50 »

Uh, I request a user ban, and before timmons=lloyd goes, a new f'n mouse.  Mine started smoking as I scrolled down through his bullshit.
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« Reply #5 on: Dec 19, 2007 at 08:06 »

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Uh, I request a user ban, and before timmons=lloyd goes, a new f'n mouse.  Mine started smoking as I scrolled down through his bullshit.
Can't help with the new mouse, but timmons=lloyd has been warned. Next time, he's gone.
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« Reply #6 on: Dec 19, 2007 at 08:09 »

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MORONS ARE COWHER / LEBEAU AND MORON POSTERS ON THIS SITE.

PATHETIC... AND PATHETIC KNOWLEDGE OF TAKING AWAY A TEAM'S STRENGTHS.

We see through your troll bullshit.  You're not a Steelers fan, you're either Alonzo Jackson or just another shlub about to get to shut down.
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« Reply #7 on: Dec 19, 2007 at 11:17 »

This is the love-child of HarryAWay and Stillers.com, on meth.

And I thought I was fucking wordy.
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« Reply #8 on: Dec 19, 2007 at 11:31 »

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« Reply #9 on: Dec 19, 2007 at 11:41 »

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 Man, the fucking Cliffs Notes are 795 pages...
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« Reply #10 on: Dec 19, 2007 at 11:42 »

Same guy??
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« Reply #11 on: Dec 19, 2007 at 11:47 »

lol at the Cliff Notes, stillers on meth, Alonzo, and the smokin' mouse.  Almost made it worthwhile to have that yerkoff post on MGS in the first place.
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« Reply #12 on: Dec 19, 2007 at 11:48 »

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 Nice call.  Apparently so.

Seems like a good dude to catch a beer with down at the pub, though.  Good sense of humor, pithy observations, a regular guy.  
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« Reply #13 on: Dec 19, 2007 at 12:10 »

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lol at the Cliff Notes, stillers on meth, Alonzo, and the smokin' mouse.  Almost made it worthwhile to have that yerkoff post on MGS in the first place.
I say we keep him around for the objective, clear and concise analysis.  That kind of stuff doesn't just grow on trees, ya know.
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« Reply #14 on: Dec 19, 2007 at 12:24 »

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Quote
lol at the Cliff Notes, stillers on meth, Alonzo, and the smokin' mouse.  Almost made it worthwhile to have that yerkoff post on MGS in the first place.
I say we keep him around for the objective, clear and concise analysis.  That kind of stuff doesn't just grow on trees, ya know.
However, it does grow, and in some local dialects is reefered to as "trees".
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« Reply #15 on: Dec 19, 2007 at 13:18 »

What a post, I started reading it when I got to work this morning. After nearly 8 hours of reading, all I can say is, I need a nap.
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« Reply #16 on: Dec 19, 2007 at 13:20 »

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What a post, I started reading it when I got to work this morning. After nearly 8 hours of reading, all I can say is, I need a nap.
Don't worry.  Eight hours?  You're just about done with chapter 1.  Chapters 9-14 are the doozies.
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« Reply #17 on: Dec 19, 2007 at 14:16 »

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What a post, I started reading it when I got to work this morning. After nearly 8 hours of reading, all I can say is, I need a nap.
You're a more patient hombre than me.  I started hacking into the verbage and it started to become the literary equivalent of fishing out a case of O'Doul's that had been in the garage for awhile.  The first swig is bad, the second one is no better, and anything after the first bottle is self-loathing.
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« Reply #18 on: Dec 19, 2007 at 18:16 »

This reminds me of a leaflet a buddy of mine brought home from spring break when I was in college.  The lealets were sprinkled all over the local mall.

It was a long harangue that some old guy typed up claiming such nonsense that Robert S. McNamara and executives at Warner Brothers had "drawn up storyboards" that proved that "age regression IS factual," and another nonsensical factoids.

We had a good laugh trying to make sense of the bent logic of all the guy's mad rantings and idiotic graphs. Sure enough, a few months later the old guy showed up at the mall with a gun, and there was a big stand off.

I hope this new "postal" poster isn't local.  
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« Reply #19 on: Dec 19, 2007 at 22:37 »

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I hope this new "postal" poster isn't local.

 It shouldn't bee too difficult to spot Timmons=Lloyd...this was his last known photograph.

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« Reply #20 on: Dec 20, 2007 at 09:00 »

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This reminds me of a leaflet a buddy of mine brought home from spring break when I was in college.  The lealets were sprinkled all over the local mall.

It was a long harangue that some old guy typed up claiming such nonsense that Robert S. McNamara and executives at Warner Brothers had "drawn up storyboards" that proved that "age regression IS factual," and another nonsensical factoids.

We had a good laugh trying to make sense of the bent logic of all the guy's mad rantings and idiotic graphs. Sure enough, a few months later the old guy showed up at the mall with a gun, and there was a big stand off.

I hope this new "postal" poster isn't local.
Well, Mr. Smarty Pants, it was McNamara and the folks at Disney, and it wasn't just age regression, it was cryogenics and neurological regeneration.  And it IS factual.  The only reason I was at the mall with a gun was because those bastards at Hickory Farms shorted me a smoked sausage in the holiday gift pack I bought ON PURPOSE and I can prove it, because the indentation in the plastic grass filler was ther where the sausage was supposed to be and the shrink wrap was clearly sliced open and resealed with Scotch tape and I remember the guy who sold it pulled it from some back stock, replacing the one I selected from the case, and his name was Franny, some goddamn dope smoking hippy bastard kid with the patchouli and the tye dye shirt and the greasy hair and some Rastafarian hat and Birkenstocks, and I wanted to teach that motherfucker a lesson about PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, I remember laughing and chewing something that sure smelled like smoked sausage as I handed him my money.  That gift was for my ELDERLY MOTHER and that son of a bitch literally took the food out of her mouth, well, she died that winter while I was spending some time in my enforced vacation.  

Got out early on good behavior, but I spent my time wisely, and I got more evidence -- EVIDENCE!!! -- that McNamara and the Disney folks wanted to see about preserving Walt Disney and JFK cryogenically, and this isn't science fiction, people, this is SCIENCE FACT.  In order to do that they needed AGE REGRESSION TECHNOLOGY, and this is where the Trilateral Comission comes into play.  Was it their greatest success or their greatest failure to involve the Trilateral people, we may never know.  The FACT is that this technology went from SECRET to UNKNOWN in a matter of weeks.  I personally have recorded testimony from people whose names I cannot name attesting to this FACT, but there were some scientists who worked on the project, whose codename was Merlin due to the legend that Merlin aged backwards, who later stepped out of the shadows to give us hints as to how AGE REGRESSION actually works.  Since these scientists worked in a partitioned environment, none of them actually saw the entire process and hence can only describe a certain portion of the overall process, but the procedure has been perfected and was tested on Richard Milhouse Nixon's good friend and "mysteriously demised" performer Elvis Aron Presley.  Rumors of Elvis's being alive exist FOR A REASON, and that reason is that Elvis never died.  Elvis agreed to undergo age regression therapy due to his addiction to prescription drugs, his obesity, and generally poor health; also, Nixon wanted to ensure that he would always have access to the King of Rock and Roll's music for as long as he was alive.  

What Elvis didn't grasp was that he was basically entering the witness protection program, and the CIA has had a special team assigned to ensure that Elvis's identity is never revealed.  He now has the appearance and vitality of a 23-year-old, and it is rumored although unconfirmed that he may be training for the summer Olympics as a swimmer.  If you recall Johnny Weismuller, who played Tarzan on TV, was an Olympic swimmer and medal winner, so the idea is not so far fetched.  Another entertainer you may recall is Lawrence Welk, who quote unquote passed away in 1987 at the age of 84, but then "miraculously" was sent to a top-secret facility where he was given the first successful cryogenic-age regression combination therapy.  He later began making public appearances, though he remained guarded and private, and references to his death were swiftly removed from the press and all documentation "mysteriously" destroyed (CIA?).  Welk died for good in 1992 at the age of 89, thus proving that someone at the END of life can add 5 years to their lifespan, and Elvis who was 42 is now 72, this adding 30 years to someone who undergoes age regressionat midlife.  

We can assume that, just as technology in everything from solar cells to personal computers to telephones has gotten dramatically better, so has the technology of age regression.  Dick Cheney would have died years ago if it weren't for Bush Sr.'s connections within the CIA, since our current President has burned his bridges with the intelligence agencies.  It would not surprise me if Bush Sr. lives to be 147, although he would probably need to drop out of the public limelight, and his son only half that.  We can reasonably extrapolate Elvis to live to well over 200 (my current estimates are that he will live until the year 2149).  There is an enzyme in raisins that produces enough of an electrical current under the proper conditions that it can spontaneously produce an aurora effect seen suing Kirlian photography.  This enzyme has powerful age-regressing properties.  Why is no one coming forth with this information?  The CIA will kill them, just as they tried to kill me while in prison.  I was able to survive by assuming clever disguises and aliases.

The raisin enzyme can be produced at home using a fermented bath of rye flour and yeasts, into which a voltmeter is inserted so that after several weeks the electrical charge can be measured and the distilled liquid filtered for consumption.  Laboratory synthetics produce a substance a thousand times more potent; this is what Elvis lives on.  There are at least 12 known components in all, including biofeedback monitoring and mineral chelation.  Also, it is well known that alien viruses, whether from extraterrestrial visitors or from meteorites that have invaded our planet for centuries, have brought all pestilence and disease known to man.  To the Greeks, this was Pandora's box; in the Bible, it is the Fall from the Garden of Eden.  At one time, people lived to be hundreds of years old, like Methuselah.  As the alien viruses and foreign elements (ask yourself where all this "radon" in our basements REALLY comes from!) began to lower human lifespan all the way to less than half a century, it rebounded within the last century only through scientific advances and modern medicine.

YET people are reluctant to embrace the science of age regression even with the proof very plainly before their eyes.  If only the puzzle pieces were not incomplete, hidden by secret government forces (who we pay TAXES to, for the purpose of WORKING FOR US, not AGAINST US).  These are the same folks who barrage us with confusing electronic signals via radio, cell phone towers (through the very cell phones that give you BRAIN CANCER people), through the televisions, and through satellites.  Foil hats are useless to protect you.  The only method to combat this menace is to regrow the brain cells that the government is killing every day, through the special diet that one of the escaped scientists attempted to tell the world about (his pamplet titled "Eat Calcium Tablets to Protect Your Brain and Grow it Back by Eating Animal Brains" was quickly destroyed, just like the evidence of Lawrence Welk's first death) before he was involved in a mysterious accident where he drove his van into a river.  The unconfirmed report was that he was handcuffed to the driver's seat and drowned, although how he suffered wounds to the head that resembled those delivered by a monkey wrench was never addressed in the coroner's report.

I have been eating the brains of small animals for years now, primarily squirrels as they are plentiful, cow brains that can be bought in the store, and also the brains of fresh roadkill if it has not yet accumulated maggots.  I have never been smarter or felt more alive.  I eat 60 Tums per week as a protective maintenance, and I have a home artificial tanning room where I expose my skin (the body's largest organ) to as much POWER and ENERGY as I can, in addition to wiring a car battery via transformer (to retain a safe voltage level) to various parts of my body (including the testicles) to ensure that the life-energy is in POSITIVE flow rather than the NEGATIVE flow most individuals experience.  This is why most people feel that they "need to recharge their batteries" or they "feel worn down" and eventually lose energy and die.  Also their brains are scrambled from the government and they get Alzheimers.  Walt Disney was successfully revived in the late 1990s due to technological advances, however the cryogenics had failed him and his brain had deteriorated to the point that he was an utter retard.  The Disney keepers then had the decision of whether to put him down or to re-freeze him, and the outcome is not known as the secret facility went into double-secret lockdown.  It is rumored that JFK was unsalvageable and Nixon hated him anyway, so since Nixon had the age regenerist scientists in his pocket the JFK remains were fed to sharks by Frank Sinatra on a fishing trip off the shore of Nassau.

The POINT is that no matter what stage of life you are in there is the capability for EACH of us to regress.  If near dying, we may squeeze a few years out of the reaper's GRASP.  If adminstered at mid-life, a lifespan of several hundred years may be conceivable.  If age regression is adminstered to ALL AMERICANS as part of a NON-SECRET program when the government SHOWS its hand, and stops HIDING the truth, and ceases its bombardment of our brains with toxic SINUSOIDAL electromagnetic wave-forms, we can fix the SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM and end hunger as we know it today.  WHY the government refuses to do this has not been addressed by a SINGLE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, and you may ask why.  Well once the secret to this is uncorked, then all the secrets are out, the entire conspiracy comes crashing down, and the powers that be want to remain the powers that be, so it will NEVER happen.  
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Finnegans Wake
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« Reply #21 on: Dec 20, 2007 at 09:01 »

I think I may have outdone timmons=lloyd.  I have no idea what I just typed.
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« Reply #22 on: Dec 20, 2007 at 11:09 »

Quote
...I have no idea what I just typed.
Neither do I, But I've got a sudden hankering for a raisin enzyme using a fermented bath of rye flour and yeasts.  Can ya get them with those little paper umbrellas in 'em?
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« Reply #23 on: Dec 20, 2007 at 11:22 »

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I think I may have outdone timmons=lloyd. I have no idea what I just typed.

After reading the post by timmons=lloyd, I can only quote the Geico Caveman:

"Uh...WHAT???"
 
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« Reply #24 on: Dec 20, 2007 at 11:52 »

Good lawd, if Mrs. Finny gets a copy of that post and obtains expert medical and legal advice, you're going to be spending the rest of your years permanently hooked up to a Ritalin filled intervenous thingamabob.

Funny as shiite, though.
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« Reply #25 on: Dec 20, 2007 at 16:17 »

DID YOU GUYS NOW THAT IF YOU USE ALL CAPS IT ENHANCED WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY? IT REALLY SHOWS THAT YOU'RE SERIOUS! WHO NEEDS BANG POLES WHEN YOU HAVE CAPS?



...what a fucking dolt. My biggest problem is that he actually sat there and typed all that shit out. Whether he is a troll or he actually believes that, he spent a good couple hours typing that garbage. What a loser.

Here is some advice:

Hey Biff, get a fucking life!
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« Reply #26 on: Dec 20, 2007 at 17:18 »

Quote
Quote
This reminds me of a leaflet a buddy of mine brought home from spring break when I was in college.  The lealets were sprinkled all over the local mall.

It was a long harangue that some old guy typed up claiming such nonsense that Robert S. McNamara and executives at Warner Brothers had "drawn up storyboards" that proved that "age regression IS factual," and another nonsensical factoids.

We had a good laugh trying to make sense of the bent logic of all the guy's mad rantings and idiotic graphs. Sure enough, a few months later the old guy showed up at the mall with a gun, and there was a big stand off.

I hope this new "postal" poster isn't local.
Well, Mr. Smarty Pants, it was McNamara and the folks at Disney, and it wasn't just age regression, it was cryogenics and neurological regeneration.  And it IS factual.  The only reason I was at the mall with a gun was because those bastards at Hickory Farms shorted me a smoked sausage in the holiday gift pack I bought ON PURPOSE and I can prove it, because the indentation in the plastic grass filler was ther where the sausage was supposed to be and the shrink wrap was clearly sliced open and resealed with Scotch tape and I remember the guy who sold it pulled it from some back stock, replacing the one I selected from the case, and his name was Franny, some goddamn dope smoking hippy bastard kid with the patchouli and the tye dye shirt and the greasy hair and some Rastafarian hat and Birkenstocks, and I wanted to teach that motherfucker a lesson about PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, I remember laughing and chewing something that sure smelled like smoked sausage as I handed him my money.  That gift was for my ELDERLY MOTHER and that son of a bitch literally took the food out of her mouth, well, she died that winter while I was spending some time in my enforced vacation.  

Got out early on good behavior, but I spent my time wisely, and I got more evidence -- EVIDENCE!!! -- that McNamara and the Disney folks wanted to see about preserving Walt Disney and JFK cryogenically, and this isn't science fiction, people, this is SCIENCE FACT.  In order to do that they needed AGE REGRESSION TECHNOLOGY, and this is where the Trilateral Comission comes into play.  Was it their greatest success or their greatest failure to involve the Trilateral people, we may never know.  The FACT is that this technology went from SECRET to UNKNOWN in a matter of weeks.  I personally have recorded testimony from people whose names I cannot name attesting to this FACT, but there were some scientists who worked on the project, whose codename was Merlin due to the legend that Merlin aged backwards, who later stepped out of the shadows to give us hints as to how AGE REGRESSION actually works.  Since these scientists worked in a partitioned environment, none of them actually saw the entire process and hence can only describe a certain portion of the overall process, but the procedure has been perfected and was tested on Richard Milhouse Nixon's good friend and "mysteriously demised" performer Elvis Aron Presley.  Rumors of Elvis's being alive exist FOR A REASON, and that reason is that Elvis never died.  Elvis agreed to undergo age regression therapy due to his addiction to prescription drugs, his obesity, and generally poor health; also, Nixon wanted to ensure that he would always have access to the King of Rock and Roll's music for as long as he was alive.  

What Elvis didn't grasp was that he was basically entering the witness protection program, and the CIA has had a special team assigned to ensure that Elvis's identity is never revealed.  He now has the appearance and vitality of a 23-year-old, and it is rumored although unconfirmed that he may be training for the summer Olympics as a swimmer.  If you recall Johnny Weismuller, who played Tarzan on TV, was an Olympic swimmer and medal winner, so the idea is not so far fetched.  Another entertainer you may recall is Lawrence Welk, who quote unquote passed away in 1987 at the age of 84, but then "miraculously" was sent to a top-secret facility where he was given the first successful cryogenic-age regression combination therapy.  He later began making public appearances, though he remained guarded and private, and references to his death were swiftly removed from the press and all documentation "mysteriously" destroyed (CIA?).  Welk died for good in 1992 at the age of 89, thus proving that someone at the END of life can add 5 years to their lifespan, and Elvis who was 42 is now 72, this adding 30 years to someone who undergoes age regressionat midlife.  

We can assume that, just as technology in everything from solar cells to personal computers to telephones has gotten dramatically better, so has the technology of age regression.  Dick Cheney would have died years ago if it weren't for Bush Sr.'s connections within the CIA, since our current President has burned his bridges with the intelligence agencies.  It would not surprise me if Bush Sr. lives to be 147, although he would probably need to drop out of the public limelight, and his son only half that.  We can reasonably extrapolate Elvis to live to well over 200 (my current estimates are that he will live until the year 2149).  There is an enzyme in raisins that produces enough of an electrical current under the proper conditions that it can spontaneously produce an aurora effect seen suing Kirlian photography.  This enzyme has powerful age-regressing properties.  Why is no one coming forth with this information?  The CIA will kill them, just as they tried to kill me while in prison.  I was able to survive by assuming clever disguises and aliases.

The raisin enzyme can be produced at home using a fermented bath of rye flour and yeasts, into which a voltmeter is inserted so that after several weeks the electrical charge can be measured and the distilled liquid filtered for consumption.  Laboratory synthetics produce a substance a thousand times more potent; this is what Elvis lives on.  There are at least 12 known components in all, including biofeedback monitoring and mineral chelation.  Also, it is well known that alien viruses, whether from extraterrestrial visitors or from meteorites that have invaded our planet for centuries, have brought all pestilence and disease known to man.  To the Greeks, this was Pandora's box; in the Bible, it is the Fall from the Garden of Eden.  At one time, people lived to be hundreds of years old, like Methuselah.  As the alien viruses and foreign elements (ask yourself where all this "radon" in our basements REALLY comes from!) began to lower human lifespan all the way to less than half a century, it rebounded within the last century only through scientific advances and modern medicine.

YET people are reluctant to embrace the science of age regression even with the proof very plainly before their eyes.  If only the puzzle pieces were not incomplete, hidden by secret government forces (who we pay TAXES to, for the purpose of WORKING FOR US, not AGAINST US).  These are the same folks who barrage us with confusing electronic signals via radio, cell phone towers (through the very cell phones that give you BRAIN CANCER people), through the televisions, and through satellites.  Foil hats are useless to protect you.  The only method to combat this menace is to regrow the brain cells that the government is killing every day, through the special diet that one of the escaped scientists attempted to tell the world about (his pamplet titled "Eat Calcium Tablets to Protect Your Brain and Grow it Back by Eating Animal Brains" was quickly destroyed, just like the evidence of Lawrence Welk's first death) before he was involved in a mysterious accident where he drove his van into a river.  The unconfirmed report was that he was handcuffed to the driver's seat and drowned, although how he suffered wounds to the head that resembled those delivered by a monkey wrench was never addressed in the coroner's report.

I have been eating the brains of small animals for years now, primarily squirrels as they are plentiful, cow brains that can be bought in the store, and also the brains of fresh roadkill if it has not yet accumulated maggots.  I have never been smarter or felt more alive.  I eat 60 Tums per week as a protective maintenance, and I have a home artificial tanning room where I expose my skin (the body's largest organ) to as much POWER and ENERGY as I can, in addition to wiring a car battery via transformer (to retain a safe voltage level) to various parts of my body (including the testicles) to ensure that the life-energy is in POSITIVE flow rather than the NEGATIVE flow most individuals experience.  This is why most people feel that they "need to recharge their batteries" or they "feel worn down" and eventually lose energy and die.  Also their brains are scrambled from the government and they get Alzheimers.  Walt Disney was successfully revived in the late 1990s due to technological advances, however the cryogenics had failed him and his brain had deteriorated to the point that he was an utter retard.  The Disney keepers then had the decision of whether to put him down or to re-freeze him, and the outcome is not known as the secret facility went into double-secret lockdown.  It is rumored that JFK was unsalvageable and Nixon hated him anyway, so since Nixon had the age regenerist scientists in his pocket the JFK remains were fed to sharks by Frank Sinatra on a fishing trip off the shore of Nassau.

The POINT is that no matter what stage of life you are in there is the capability for EACH of us to regress.  If near dying, we may squeeze a few years out of the reaper's GRASP.  If adminstered at mid-life, a lifespan of several hundred years may be conceivable.  If age regression is adminstered to ALL AMERICANS as part of a NON-SECRET program when the government SHOWS its hand, and stops HIDING the truth, and ceases its bombardment of our brains with toxic SINUSOIDAL electromagnetic wave-forms, we can fix the SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM and end hunger as we know it today.  WHY the government refuses to do this has not been addressed by a SINGLE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, and you may ask why.  Well once the secret to this is uncorked, then all the secrets are out, the entire conspiracy comes crashing down, and the powers that be want to remain the powers that be, so it will NEVER happen.
Pure genius....... in a Karl Pilkington sort of way..
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« Reply #27 on: Dec 21, 2007 at 15:42 »

I wonder if people would buy a book-length version of this shit.  Maybe I can invent a Pilkington type persona?  
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pensodyssey
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« Reply #28 on: Dec 21, 2007 at 15:44 »

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I wonder if people would buy a book-length version of this shit.  Maybe I can invent a Pilkington type persona?
Would you really want to write a book length version of that?

Just sayin'.  
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« Reply #29 on: Dec 21, 2007 at 18:23 »

Finny, that was greatness.  And are you absolutely SURE the foil hats don't work?  That sucks.
« Last Edit: Dec 21, 2007 at 18:23 by jonzr » Logged

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« Reply #30 on: Dec 21, 2007 at 20:38 »

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I wonder if people would buy a book-length version of this shit.
« Last Edit: Dec 21, 2007 at 20:39 by Finnegans Wake » Logged

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« Reply #31 on: Dec 21, 2007 at 22:56 »

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I wonder if people would buy a book-length version of this shit.  Maybe I can invent a Pilkington type persona?
Well Karl did write a book, but I think being on the most downloaded podcast of all time didn't hurt him. Also, he didn't have to invent a personna as he is an actual idiot "savant". But if that shit is on auto pilot, I'd give it a go. Just line up the nyquiltinis and have at it.
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« Reply #32 on: Dec 21, 2007 at 23:09 »

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Just line up the nyquiltinis and have at it.

 Check this shit out.  It is of the funny.
 
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LambertsFrontTeeth
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« Reply #33 on: Dec 22, 2007 at 19:37 »

Good to know that Finny's recipe for the Nyquiltini has been immortalized for future generations of college kids worldwide.
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