Veterans' day off.
Can't say everyone is out with a groiner.
They need to get a little more creative and start going with some mental health maladies.
"Mr. Smith is suffering from acute bi-polar disorder and experienced a psychotic break last evening. He'll be in group therapy while we regulate his meds. We're hoping ECT will not be necessary this time because it really pisses him off when his memory comes back."
Or, in shorthand: "Mr. Smith has a Shawn Andrews."
Really obscure diseases would be cool.
"James Harrison is out with a touch of Landau Kleffner syndrome, but we're not worried about it at this time..."
"Max Starks has what we thought was Achard Thiers Syndrome, but which we now believe to be Rothmund Thomson Syndrome, so that's a relief to us all. He's day to day."
"Anthony Smith's groin is better, but he has Wiedemann Rautenstrauch Syndrome, so we are keeping him out as a precaution."
"Casey Hampton will continue his independent workout, but he has been hampered by Greig Cephalopolysyndactyly Syndrome, so we don't have a timetable for Casey."
"Brett Keisel has Cerebrotendinous Xanthomatosus, which he had last year at camp, so we don't think this will limit him for long."
"Deshea Townshend has Caudal Regression Syndrome, which we're treating with aspirin. He should be 50-50 for Friday's preseason game."