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Author Topic: Week 15 Power Rankings  (Read 881 times)
Finnegans Wake
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« on: Dec 12, 2008 at 14:50 »

Been a busy time at work, kids, so I've been lax in the old rankings.  Here they are, with playoff outlook.  Will try to add the computerized rankings if time permits.


1. Tennessee Titans, 12-1 (currently #1 seed in AFC).  Titans aren't winning with style points, but who cares?  Probably the best D behind Steelers and Ravens.  Should have a bye and homefield in the playoffs, which is a big plus.  Remaining schedule: @ HOU, PIT, @ INDY.  (Predicted wins in bold.)  Even if they lose the last two, the Titans finish 13-3 and the #1 seed in the AFC.

2. Carolina Panthers, 10-3 (#2 seed in NFC).  Panthers also showing a strong defense, and a superb running game, which is a championship formula in my estimation.  Much more consistent this season than seasons past, and an impressive win over the Bucs.  Favorable stretch schedule may vault them past reeling Giants in seeding.  Remaining schedule: DEN, @NYG, @NO.  The Giants game will probably determine who gets the top seed.  I suspect the Giants would normally win that matchup at home, but with Jacobs iffy and Plax being Plax, the Panthers may have conditions in their favor.  Projecting them at 13-3, #1 seed in the NFC.

3. New York Giants, 11-2 (#1 seed in NFC).  Giants fended off retirements and major injuries to start the season on a winning note, but the next three games will be a real test for Coughlin.  Still a formidable team, especially in the postseason, but could lose a couple still.  Remaining schedule: @DAL, CAR, @MIN.  Dallas is a mess, but I get the feeling they get up for the Giants game before missing the playoffs.  Projection: 12-4, #2 in NFC.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers, 10-3 (#2 in AFC).  If the Steelers had the offensive firepower they showed in 2007, I'd be tempted to put them at #1 overall.  The offense shows no signs of life at this point, but the defense is enough to scare any team.  Remaining schedule: @ BAL, @TEN, CLE.  As much as I am gloom and doom over the Ravens game, I think we can shut down the Titans on the road.  And the Browns are, well, roadkill.  Projection: 12-4, #2 in AFC.

5. Baltimore Ravens, 9-4 (#6 in AFC).   Ravens have shown a little life on offense, but the real threat is their defense, which is 1b to Pittsburgh's 1a.  They could wind up 12-4 as well but make it as a wild card based on tiebreakers, but call Dallas winning the next two a hunch.  Projection: 11-5, #6 in AFC.

6. Indianapolis Colts, 9-4 (#5 in AFC).   Well, it hasn't been pretty, but they're winning again, and could close the year winning their final three games.  It remains to be seen if they're back to being the Colts of old, but they should be in the playoffs, and then, who knows.  Remaining schedule: DET, @ JAX, TEN.  Projection: 12-4, #5 in AFC.  Not enough to beat the Titans for the division, the Colts will be a team like the Ravens, excellent record wild card.

7. Philadelphia Eagles, 10-5-1 (still alive at #8 in NFC).  Yeah, talk about getting there ugly.  This team has severe schizophrenia, but enters a soft stretch of schedule with McNabb and Company looking like they're back on track.  The Giants win was very big for this team.  Remaining schedule: CLE, @ WAS, DAL.  The final wild card could come down to that Dallas game in Philly.  Projection: 10-5-1, #6 in NFC.

8. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 9-4 (#5 in NFC).   Bucs have a solid D, but the Panthers game really showed which direction both of those teams appear to be headed at this point in the season.  A good team, but not a team that really inspires Super Bowl visions.  Remaining schedule: @ ATL, SD, OAK.  Projection: 11-5, #5 in NFC.

9. Denver Broncos, 8-5 (#3 in AFC).  Helped by a dreadful division, the Broncos are in by default.  Still, even with running back woes and a defense that's about as sturdy as cat litter, this team can put up points, and has spoiler written all over them.  Remaining schedule: @ CAR, BUFF, @SD.  Expect a bit of karma in a loss to the Chargers.  Projection:  9-7, #4 in AFC.

10. Arizona Cardinals, 8-5 (#4 in NFC).   Pretty much the same notes to the Broncos, except the Cards have zilch in playoff experience and falter when they travel east.  Remaining schedule: MIN, @NE, SEA.  Is the New England win a bit of wishful thinking?  Or will Warner pick apart that tattered secondary?  Projection: 11-5, #3 in NFC.

11. Minnesota Vikings, 8-5 (#3 in NFC).  Vikings have a shaky hold at best in division over Bears, who have a real shot at displacing them here.  With Tavaris Jackson back, the Vikings had better hope a steady dose of Peterson and the Williams sisters saves the day.  Very shaky.  Remaining schedule: @ ARI, ATL, NYG.  Projection: 9-7, #4 in NFC.

12. Miami Dolphins, 8-5 (still alive at #7 in AFC).  Yep, I'm calling the upset.  The Patriots aren't consistent, the Jets aren't consistent, and look who's playing the home stretch with enthusiasm.  Oh, and a soft schedule is pretty nice too.  Pretty damned good turnaround for the coach and players in Miami.  Won't do much in the playoffs, though.  Remaining schedule: SF, @ KC, @ NYJ.  Jets game for the division title, you think Curly Sue might have revenge on his mind?  Sometimes teams like this just catch fire.  And then, just as inexplicably, they're done.  This is one of those teams.  Projection: 11-5, #3 in AFC (!).


13. New York Jets, 8-5 (#4 in AFC).   Weeks ago, the verdict on the Jets was that they were terrible one week, great the next.  Well, that crap is still going on, and I guarantee you that it's going to kill the Jets.  Playoff bound teams get consistent as the season wears on.  Remaining schedule: BUF, @ SEA, MIA.  Couple of cupcakes, big wins, and then they drop the season at home.  Sound about right?  Projection: 10-6, OUT.

14. New England Patriots, 8-5 (still alive at #8 in AFC).  You have to give it to these cunts: even without video-cheating, without the Golden Boy, and with a defense that has to call up Junior Seau -- who's practically as old as I am -- these bastards refuse to die.  Still, I don't think they have what it takes to finish out with three wins.  An explosive offense like the Cards will expose their flaws.  Remaining schedule: @ OAK, ARI, @ BUF.  Projection: 10-6, OUT. 

15. Dallas, 8-5 (#6 in NFC). Looked like the best team in the early weeks, and has shown glimmers of being a decent team.  The Steelers loss may be the dagger.  I suspect they rebound, but are overmatched by Philly in Philly with the season on the line.  They just don't feel like a playoff team.  Great season by Ware, though.  Remaining schedule: NYG, BAL, @ PHI.  Projection: 10-6, OUT.

16. Atlanta Falcons, 8-5 (still alive at #7 in NFC).  It's hard not to respect what the Falcons have done this year.  Much like the Dolphins, they've turned around their team faster than anyone expected.  Coach Mike Smith should be in the running for Coach of the Year, in my opinion; Matt Ryan has been the best rookie gunslinger since some kid Pittsburgh drafted; Michael Turner is having a better year than his ex-teammate Whatsisname; the Falcons still are a legit threat to make it as a wild card, although they would need to win out most likely.  But perhaps the best thing about this team is that week in and week out, win or lose, they're fun to watch.  Remaining schedule: TB, @ MIN, STL.  If they do win their final three and make it as a wild card, they could pull an upset in the early going.  Projection: 10-6, OUT.

17. Chicago Bears, 8-6 (still alive at #9 in NFC).   Matt Forte has been a superb rookie, breaking the rookie rushing yards record of Gale Sayers and the rookie receptions record set by Ditka.  The defense has been sporadic, but at times has looked like the Bears of old.  Even Kyle Orton resembles a real live NFL QB.  But their margin of error is wafer thin, and some bad coaching decisions by Lovie Smith may have cost them the postseaon.  Remaining schedule: GB, @ HOU.  Projection: 9-7, OUT.

18. New Orleans Saints, 7-7 (still theoretically alive, #11 in NFC).   Last night showed the best and worst of the Saints.  The thrilling comebacks.  Brees and Bush and Colston leading a top offense, with Rashard Mendenhall's former collegiate teammate Pierre Thomas providing a surprise spark.  A defense that is slowly getting some better players... just not enough for this year.  Remaining schedule: @ DET, CAR.  Projection: 8-8, OUT.

19. Washington Redskins, 7-6 (still theoretically alive, #10 in NFC).  You get the feeling that this team has never been right since the Steelers whacked them?  Remaining schedule: @ CIN, PHI, @ SF.  Projection: 8-8, OUT.

20. San Diego Chargers, 5-8 (almost unbelievably, still theoretically alive, #10 in AFC).  One of the great collapses of 2008 (see Jacksonville).  With all the talent on this team, how are they 5-8?  It's worth noting that Phillip Rivers is quite the douche, however.  Remaining schedule: @ KC, @ TB, DEN.  Projection: 7-9, OUT.

21. Green Bay Packers, 5-8 (almost unbelievably, still theoretically alive, #12 in NFC).  At the beginning of the season, this team looked like they could win the division, and hang with just about anyone.  Well, they're hanging all right.  Swaying in the breeze.  A few weeks ago, they were still ahead of the Bears and Vikings.  A horrendous collapse.  Remaining schedule: @ JAX, @ CHI, DET.  Projection: 7-9, OUT.

22. Buffalo Bills, 6-7 (almost unbelievably, still theoretically alive, #9 in AFC).   Collapse?  You wanna talk about collapse?  These guys are the Einsturzende Neubauten of the NFL: they're not just collapsing, they're doing it with a helluva racket.  They scare no one.  NO ONE!  And seriously, they looked pretty good early on.  Remaining schedule:  @ NYJ, @ DEN, NE.  Projection: 6-10, OUT.


23. Houston Texans, 6-7.   No shot for them, but they'll affect others' playoff chances.  Maybe next year.  Had some moments, but still the same old Texans.

24. San Francisco 49ers, 5-8.   Showing some life under Singletary.  See notes to Texans.  On the bright side, you have as many wins as the Chargers this year.

25. Jacksonville Jaguars, 4-9.  Mr. Del Rio, you have won exactly as many games as the Cleveland Browns have.  And their starting quarterback this week is Ken Dorsey.  Even with all the injuries, other teams haven't sunk this badly.  Horrible.

26. Kansas City Chiefs, 2-11.   At least they're a young team, and may improve.  Maybe.  Coach Edwards, do you like your quarterback, Pig Pen?

27. Seattle, 2-11.  Their TE, Carlson, looks good.  Another collapse that's hard to explain, even with injuries.  Buh bye, Fatass Holmgren.

28. Oakland Raiders, 3-10.   The irony is that if Al Davis had sat his decrepit ass still with Little Lancie Kiffin, maybe, just MAYBE, the Raiders would have won a couple more games through sheer dint of consistent leadership.  Meaning, with 5 or 6 wins they'd still be theoretically alive in the wacky AFC West.  This team is a fucking mess, and has been for years, and there's no one to blame but the Meddling Corpse himself.  A fucking disgrace to the NFL.

29. St. Louis Rams, 2-11.  When you're a worse team than the Raiders, already noted as a fucking disgrace to the NFL, you think I'm going to find a single nice thing to say about you?  You're out your fucking mind. 

30. Cleveland Browns, 4-9.  How's that division title thing going, bitches?  Ken Dorsey is your starting quarterback.  Your coach is all but fired.  You're back to rebuilding.  I piss on your grave.

31. Cincinnati Bengals, 1-11-1.  OK, at the outset of the season, I predicted the Bengals would go 3-13.  No, said the experts, they can contend for the division.  No, said my MGS peers, they won't be that bad.  Well holy motherfucking sheepshit, I underestimated the sheer depth of their ineptitude.  Yeah, whatever, Carson Palmer missed half the season.  Bengals sucked when he was in, too, so whatever.

32. Detroit Lions, 0-13.
  They could... go... all... the... way.  Michael Crabtree, your fate is sealed.

« Last Edit: Dec 12, 2008 at 16:44 by Finnegans Wake » Logged

Out of my mind on Saturday night...
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« Reply #1 on: Dec 12, 2008 at 15:50 »

OK, crunched the numbers, just pasting here instead of inserting it through my previous.  According to the calculations, this week's Ravens-Steelers is a clash of the titans!

Baltimore Ravens   105.2537
Pittsburgh Steelers   85.4113
Philadelphia Eagles   81.1302
Tennessee Titans   73.4112
NY Giants   69.7647
Tampa Bay Buccaneers   40.1302
New Orleans Saints   38.9403
San Diego Chargers   37.2436
Carolina Panthers   35.7097
Washington Redskins   33.6336
Arizona Cardinals   33.5488
Miami Dolphins   26.2959
NY Jets   23.1447
Dallas Cowboys   22.9961
Minnesota Vikings   22.3062
Green Bay Packers   19.6660
Chicago Bears   17.1193
Atlanta Falcons   16.1718
Indianapolis Colts   5.5698
San Francisco 49ers   -5.0455
Buffalo Bills   -5.0737
Houston Texans   -14.9284
Jacksonville Jaguars   -23.9810
New England Patriots   -24.8093
Denver Broncos   -36.4192
Cleveland Browns   -66.1778
Seattle Seahawks   -73.5286
Oakland Raiders   -85.6113
Cincinnati Bengals   -93.8608
Kansas City Chiefs   -101.2509
St. Louis Rams   -122.9336
Detroit Lions   -123.7229

Out of my mind on Saturday night...
Asst. VP, Jonzring
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Have a cup o' joe.

« Reply #2 on: Dec 12, 2008 at 15:56 »

And read all of the the Finmeister Meisterfin's  power rankings here.

"I like David Bowie, he was always my favorite member of Tin Machine."
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Finnegans Wake
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« Reply #3 on: Dec 12, 2008 at 17:21 »

Based on my projections, I'll run some early playoff scenarios.

Wild Card Round[/u]

#6 Baltimore Ravens @ #3 Miami Dolphins.  A repeat of the week 7 game, that Baltimore won 27-13.  Don't see much reason the result would be different.  Ravens' thunderous D would shut down the Fins (or, alternatively, the Jets or Patriots if they won the division).  Ravens 30, Dolphins 16.

#6 Philadelphia Eagles @ #3 Arizona Cardinals. 
Another rematch, and like the Ravens-Fins this one switches homefield without altering the end result.  Eagles won 48-20 at home, but do it on the road by nearly as much:  Eagles 34, Cards 18.

#5 Tampa Bay Bucs @ #4 Minnesota Vikings. Yet another rematch, switching fields.  Vikes lost 13-19 on Nov. 16, and have some question as to who will be quarterbacking.  Is home field enough to win against the Bucs?  I'll say yes.  Vikings 17, Bucs 13.

#5 Indianapolis Colts @ #4 Denver Broncos.
Two teams with questions on D, questions at RB, and explosive passing games.  Colts are on a 6-game win streak, and I project them to win their next 3.  Broncos don't impress me as a real mover this year.  Colts 30, Broncos 24.

Bye: Tennessee Titans, Pittsburgh Steelers, Carolina Panthers, New York Giants.

Divisional Round

#6 Baltimore Ravens @ #1 Tennessee Titans.  Good.  Let the Titans deal with them.  Another rematch:   Titans took the week 5 scrum in Baltimore 13-10.  Expect another like that, only the Ravens seem to be the team on the rise.  Ravens 19, Titans 13.

#6 Philadelphia Eagles @ #1 Carolina Panthers. 
It's all about momentum: the Panthers have it right now, but are they peaking early?  Eagles could be a dangerous draw.  Panthers 23, Eagles 21.

#4 Minnesota Vikings @ #2 New York Giants.
Giants are balanced enough and playoff seasoned enough to expose Minnesota's flaws.  Giants 24, Vikings 17.

#5 Indianapolis Colts @ #2 Pittsburgh Steelers.
  THIS time, we don't piss the game away.  Revenge is sweet.  Steelers 27, Colts 20.

Conference Championships

#6 Baltimore Ravens @ #2 Pittsburgh Steelers.
The thud of two ferocious defenses settling the score for a third time...  Steelers' D comes through with vengeance.  Steelers 19, Ravens 10.

#2 New York Giants @ #1 Carolina Panthers.
  Panthers' run comes to an end, as the Giants get healthy again.  Giants 27, Panthers 24.

Super Bowl

NY Giants v. Pittsburgh Steelers.
  Steelers get another chance to atone for a blown game, and Bruce Arians pulls his fucking head out of his ass by some miracle no one can explain.  Steelers' offense comes to life, finally.  Steelers 38, Giants 17.

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« Reply #4 on: Dec 14, 2008 at 22:03 »

Nice job, as always.  I do think Atlanta runs the table and edges out Philly for the last wild card - anyone who ties the Bungles deserves to have it bite them in the ass.  Despite the win against Arizona, who is completely a creation of the horrid NFCW (they are now 3-6 outside their division), I don't think Minny is that good.  Atlanta will find a key road win down the stretch there, and the mighty NFCE sends one team to the playoffs. 
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« Reply #5 on: Dec 17, 2008 at 12:07 »

30. Cleveland Browns, 4-9.  How's that division title thing going, bitches?  Ken Dorsey is your starting quarterback.  Your coach is all but fired.  You're back to rebuilding.  I piss on your grave.

31. Cincinnati Bengals, 1-11-1.  OK, at the outset of the season, I predicted the Bengals would go 3-13.  No, said the experts, they can contend for the division.  No, said my MGS peers, they won't be that bad.  Well holy motherfucking sheepshit, I underestimated the sheer depth of their ineptitude.  Yeah, whatever, Carson Palmer missed half the season.  Bengals sucked when he was in, too, so whatever.

Great analysis overall, but these two were my favorites of the bunch. After all the hogwash I had to hear all offseason about how signing Mr. Pulledhammy and trading for a couple defensive lineman was going to put the Clowns over the top, well let's just say it's been quiet in these parts since about week 4. I piss on your grave. LOL, couldn't have said it better myself.

As for the Bungles, well, I just enjoy them sucking.
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