To the new MGSFFL champion, Finny's Sportin Woodleys. It ends a long, long, looooong fantasy drought for Mr. Wake, but hell, at least he got his before Marv Levy.
*hands over trophy*
Thank you, Mr. Chickens, and the ghosts of MGSFF past.
This is surely one of my proudest moments, helping to erase the memories of losing every single pickup football game I played as a kid against Sammy Baugh from the next street over; not being able to make the high school football team due to regulations against heads on pillows not being able to play; the college years wasted spending Mommy and Daddy's money on above-average to greatly above-average amounts of dope, when I could have been working to become lose-the-left-nut fast; the years 1986-1992, which I cannot recall; and two years ago when I thought I was slipping out a silent but deadly at the crowded Thanksgiving table but instead had violent diarrhea.
I'd like to thank the Yahoo FF site, which auto-picked most of my players and didn't allow my drunken ass to actually do much; I'd like to thank Mrs. Finny, for her ongoing love and support when the Woodleys lost, and her encouraging words such as "Finny, you suck... you really are the worst fantasy football coach ever... what the fuck is wrong with you, anyway?"; and I'd like to thank God Hisself for inspiring me with the name the Sportin' Woodleys, which I believe set the tone for the season with its middle-aged white man pimp style.
Finally, to all my opponents, I would not be where I am today had you all not fucked up in some small way and lost. I'll be lighting up a Cuban cigar and sucking down some expensive whiskey this weekend and laughing at your asses for allowing the Rich Kotite of FF to actually win this... [*hoists trophy, accidentally hitting own head on the downslide, passes out cold*]...