haven't seen it elsewhere, so...

[Big Virgil]

I would ride 22.4 miles to gain enough speed and burn the appropriate amount of calories before breaking down the door and torching the place.

There would also have to be some elevation gain in there or it wouldn't be worht it.  If I did a thorough job torching the place, that's only an extra 150 calories, so it almost isn't even worth it.