POLL: Vick to the Steelers

[jonzr]

James Harrison of the AFCN Blog thinks so.

[DCSteelers]

Great fit for the Bengals, IMO.  He'd get along great with Chris Henry, lol.

Seriously, I could see it happening and them implementing some sort of wildcat.

[Merman1983]

There was an article on espn yesterday where Mortenson had the Steelers, Cardinals, Browns and some other teams interested. I'd imagine this was a report leaked by his agent to make it look like the two most successful teams last season as well as a family run organization were interested.

Walker is pretty good and usually unbiased (given the fact that he used to cover the Ravens exclusively, I think), but there is no well in hell the Steelers sign Mike Vick, Ron Mexico, or inmate # 345678.

[Finnegans Wake]

Hell YES, sign him, and sign him NOW!

Tony Dungy's caressed his balls and whispered the name of the Lord into his ear, so we know Vick's a new man, hallelujah.  Humbled.  Chastened.  Sincere.

Even though he's not a fit with our offense, when you have an athlete of Vick's cancre, errrr, caliber, you find a way to fit him in, just like Ronnie Mexico slips it in without mentioning the nasty news.  Imagine Kordell, but with far, far better sweaters.  Have you ever seen the Vick line?  I mean the line of sweaters, dudes.  Fashion is important, especially for the Steelers.  The Chairman was a clothes-horse, the Ambassador is a clothes-horse, and Junior spends more time in haberdashery shops than he does watching scouting film, that's for sure.  Let other teams worry about outdated and outmoded concepts such as "character" and "risk" and "fan toxicity" and "fuck no this guy is not Steeler caliber in any way shape or form."  Those quaint notions never helped us forge a team identity, as if such a thing meant squat.  Hell, if it did, we'd've won a Super Bowl or six.  Bah, I say.  BAH.

Moreover, while other QBs-slash-inmates might come out of the hoosegow a step slow, behind in physical conditioning and mental acuity, something in my gut tells me Vick isn't like that.  He's been nothing if not the model of industry, whether it be sneaking ganja through airports, pickpocketing people's watches, or overseeing a vast extermination operation for pooches (and makin' money from it, no less)!

Are you telling me you'd rather have that old dustfart Charlie Batch?  Batch, instead of Vick?  Michael Vick can run for a hundred yards, and throw to his tight end!  Michael Vick has ten thousand hundert million times the arm strength of Charlie Batch!  Michael Vick can mentor young Dennis Dixon far better than Charlie Batch, if Vick is the third QB and the Steelers hire Batch as an assistant QB coach!  Mike Vick has brung himself up from nothing to the heights of glory, back to nothing... you see where this is going... what's next, kids?...  next stop, HEIGHTS OF GLORY AGAIN!  It's as predictable as the tides, as constant as a sine wave, as sure a bet as Bear Stearns stock.

Look, sometimes you have to have the vision to do the smart thing, the thing that's not garnering popular support.  You have to go left when everyone else goes right.  You have to leave the room suddenly at the best part in the movie without telling anyone you farted.  You have to roll the dice, and if one of the dice gets eaten by the dog, you have to call up Mike Vick to open the dog up with a knife so you can re-roll and determine whether Vick, for example, is the guy you want.  Why?  Because Mike Vick is not afraid to cut open a dog.  Oh, and why is Mike Vick the guy you want to add to a team that doesn't need a high-risk dude, but rather a smooth continuous system of upgrades from within, also known as the Steeler Way?

I'll tell you why.  Hey, what the fuck is that?  Over there?  [*Pointing*]



[*Runs out of room, leaving behind a fart smelling of putrid death and chili dogs.  Dogs.  Get it?*]

[PghSteel-43]

Vick to the Steelers

God no.

[give'emthaboot]

Hell YES, sign him, and sign him NOW!

Tony Dungy's caressed his balls and whispered the name of the Lord into his ear, so we know Vick's a new man, hallelujah.  Humbled.  Chastened.  Sincere.

Even though he's not a fit with our offense, when you have an athlete of Vick's cancre, errrr, caliber, you find a way to fit him in, just like Ronnie Mexico slips it in without mentioning the nasty news.  Imagine Kordell, but with far, far better sweaters.  Have you ever seen the Vick line?  I mean the line of sweaters, dudes.  Fashion is important, especially for the Steelers.  The Chairman was a clothes-horse, the Ambassador is a clothes-horse, and Junior spends more time in haberdashery shops than he does watching scouting film, that's for sure.  Let other teams worry about outdated and outmoded concepts such as "character" and "risk" and "fan toxicity" and "fuck no this guy is not Steeler caliber in any way shape or form."  Those quaint notions never helped us forge a team identity, as if such a thing meant squat.  Hell, if it did, we'd've won a Super Bowl or six.  Bah, I say.  BAH.

Moreover, while other QBs-slash-inmates might come out of the hoosegow a step slow, behind in physical conditioning and mental acuity, something in my gut tells me Vick isn't like that.  He's been nothing if not the model of industry, whether it be sneaking ganja through airports, pickpocketing people's watches, or overseeing a vast extermination operation for pooches (and makin' money from it, no less)!

Are you telling me you'd rather have that old dustfart Charlie Batch?  Batch, instead of Vick?  Michael Vick can run for a hundred yards, and throw to his tight end!  Michael Vick has ten thousand hundert million times the arm strength of Charlie Batch!  Michael Vick can mentor young Dennis Dixon far better than Charlie Batch, if Vick is the third QB and the Steelers hire Batch as an assistant QB coach!  Mike Vick has brung himself up from nothing to the heights of glory, back to nothing... you see where this is going... what's next, kids?...  next stop, HEIGHTS OF GLORY AGAIN!  It's as predictable as the tides, as constant as a sine wave, as sure a bet as Bear Stearns stock.

Look, sometimes you have to have the vision to do the smart thing, the thing that's not garnering popular support.  You have to go left when everyone else goes right.  You have to leave the room suddenly at the best part in the movie without telling anyone you farted.  You have to roll the dice, and if one of the dice gets eaten by the dog, you have to call up Mike Vick to open the dog up with a knife so you can re-roll and determine whether Vick, for example, is the guy you want.  Why?  Because Mike Vick is not afraid to cut open a dog.  Oh, and why is Mike Vick the guy you want to add to a team that doesn't need a high-risk dude, but rather a smooth continuous system of upgrades from within, also known as the Steeler Way?

I'll tell you why.  Hey, what the fuck is that?  Over there?  [*Pointing*]



[*Runs out of room, leaving behind a fart smelling of putrid death and chili dogs.  Dogs.  Get it?*]

 

Wondermous!

[vinman3]

He should go to the Ratbirds, then maybe Ray Ray can show him how to be a good citizen :eyeroll: following a serious crime.

[otismalibu]

I'd like to see the Steelers sign him, just to see Brinker's reaction.

[VaBchSteelersfan]

He should go to the Ratbirds, then maybe Ray Ray can show him how to be a good citizen :eyeroll: following a serious crime.

Just what the Steelers need, another thug from the Hampton Roads area. At least we got rid of Plax before his bone-head gun action!

[aj_law]

I'd like to see the Steelers sign him, just to see Brinker's reaction.

How long before BV orders a Ron Mexico jersey?