Starks sings 4-year deal...

[Finnegans Wake]

Unbelievable.

[Merman1983]

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=4281262

Terms per John Clayton at espn. 26.3 million.

Only 10 million guaranteed = good stuff.

[jonzr]

Now sign Heat, et al.  Finally.

[SCacalaki]

Pretty good deal IMO.  He's not a top LT but he ain't gettin' paid like one either.  Does the job well enough IMO. 

Assume this opens up more cap room but don't know with the CBA situation

[Finnegans Wake]

He's not a premiere LT but it nails down some uncertaintly along the line.  From $8.5 guaranteed for one to $10M over 4?  Wow.  Put another way: don;t you think Starks could have played his $8.5M tag and then landed a deal > $17.5M/3??? 

This will hopefully get the Heat deal done, and maybe some other miscellany (resing Zamir fuck Cobbshit crapyerpants spleenpuke). 

[jonzr]

I'm amazed at the #'s ... WTF were the Steelers waiting for if Max was amenable to such a deal!?  Bargain IMO.

[Finnegans Wake]

I'm amazed at the #'s ... WTF were the Steelers waiting for if Max was amenable to such a deal!?  Bargain IMO.

MARTIN SLYSH: My client is happy with these numbers.  He would like to get this deal done before Easter so he can chill with his lady and have something to celebrate.  He just has one additional request that... I think we can write in as a special addendum to the contract terms and conditions...

MAX STARKS: I want a backrub from Omar every Friday, and one of them jumbo sized Snickers bars.

[*Laughter in the room*]

STARKS: Laugh, but I'm serious.  And ain't no other deals happenin' until I get my weekly backrub from Omar and my fat Snickers bar.

OMAR KHAN:  I am hoping, Mr. Maxwell Starks, that this is a joke.  Because Allah be praised I will not rub another man's back.

STARKS: No joke.  No backrub, no deal.

OMAR: I will not do it.

STARKS: Yes you will.

OMAR: No.

STARKS: Yes.

OMAR: No.

STARKS: Yes.

OMAR: No.

STARKS: Yes.

[*14 hours later*]

OMAR: No.

[*Long pause*]

STARKS: Yes.

SLYSH:  Gentlemen... may I... make a suggestion?

OMAR: No.

STARKS: Yes.

SLYSH:  Let's just take a break from this for a few days.

OMAR: No.

STARKS: Yes.

[*Forward to June 23.  Agent Slysh knocks on Conference Room 32's door.*]

SLYSH: Hello...?  Omar...?

[*Turns on light.  Omar and Starks have not moved.  Have not bathed or shaved.  Empty pizza boxes litter the conference table.  Bloody scratch marks mar the table in front of both Starks and Khan, whose beards are now brushing the table.  Both men have bloodshot eyes and occasional tremors.  *]

STARKS: Yes...

SLYSH:  Oh... fucking hell...

[*Slysh pukes on his own shoes*]

SLYSH: Did you guys just like shit your own pants....?  Did you even move since we were here last???

OMAR: No...

SLYSH: You guys have completely wigged.

STARKS: Yes...

SLYSH: Over some... ridiculous ego trip clause, like the Van Halen M&M stipulation?

OMAR: No...

SLYSH:  Well, if it's not just a will of egos, then Max should be prepared to sign this deal... TODAY.

STARKS: Yes...

SLYSH: Do you have any further objections, Omar?

OMAR: No...

SLYSH:  Good.  Max, you understand that by signing here you are forfeiting your request for the backrubs and the Snickers bars, and that this is for the previously agreed contract structure?

STARKS: Yes...

SLYSH: Omar, here is my client's signed contract.  I trust you have no further objections?

OMAR: No...

SLYSH: Good.  I am OUT of here.  Max, you know you can leave now, right?

STARKS: Yes...

SLYSH: And Omar, no problem faxing a copy of that with all Dan's approvals to my secretary?

OMAR: No...

SLYSH:  All right.  I have to jet.

[*Leaves conference room.  Starks and Khan stare at each other without speaking.  Hours pass.  A janitor enters*]

DARNELL:  You guys still at it, hmmm?

STARKS: Yes...

DARNELL:  I told you I ain't gonna come in here and wipe your stubborn asses, so this room gets cleaned once you two vamoose.  But I guess that ain't gonna be today, is it?

OMAR: No...

[jonzr]

Now that's damn funny. 

[Preacherman0]

Okay, SOMETHING to discuss in the offseason...

Total money looks a little large at first glance, but 10 mil guarenteed?  When you knew you were going to be forking over 8.5 anyway?  Gotta like that. 

I still think Starks, if he would improve his work ethic and intensity, could be much better.  Perhaps he'll tap into some unreached potential--to me, he just seems a little too laid-back.  Maybe he'll get mean this year and really show us something.

[Steelerdipwad]

Okay, SOMETHING to discuss in the offseason...

Total money looks a little large at first glance, but 10 mil guarenteed?  When you knew you were going to be forking over 8.5 anyway?  Gotta like that. 

I still think Starks, if he would improve his work ethic and intensity, could be much better.  Perhaps he'll tap into some unreached potential--to me, he just seems a little too laid-back.  Maybe he'll get mean this year and really show us something.

Or he could snack out. Remember, he's not exactly known for his work ethic. But that's not a bad deal considering he was our best lineman last year. Now we have three years to adress the other mor needy positions on the line before we look for a replacement (unless he blossoms, but I doubt that)