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Author Topic: Chris Henry  (Read 2562 times)
pensodyssey
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« on: Dec 16, 2009 at 19:03 »

Could die.

Pickups always have low safety ratings.
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otismalibu
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« Reply #1 on: Dec 16, 2009 at 20:13 »

At this very moment, he could still grab 6 catches and 100 yds, against the FaceMe/Gay duo.

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Finnegans Wake
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« Reply #2 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 07:05 »

At this very moment, he could still grab 6 catches and 100 yds, against the FaceMe/Gay duo.


Puh-leeeez.  No way could he put up those numbers in his condition.  I didn't fall off the hay wagon yesterday, you know.

Unlike Chris Henry.
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Finnegans Wake
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« Reply #3 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 09:14 »

CNN reported Chris Henry is now dead. 

See, I told you there was no way he could put up 100 on our DBs.  Now I'd only expect him to get about 60.
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« Reply #4 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 09:18 »

Just heard that Henry passed.  

Perhaps a little levity is the move here, just heard a joke on the radio.

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said ' Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?
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« Reply #5 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 09:26 »

Wow.  

I was about to say something about the bizzare free fall from his early success, but considering the circumstances it's probably a poor choice of words.

Plus he wasn't all that successful to start with, to be honest.

RIP
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« Reply #6 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 09:29 »

Mrs. F. just told me that joke last night...

Well, too bad for Otis.  He never got to break out What's Carson Palmer's favorite vegetable?  Answer: Chris Henry!
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otismalibu
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« Reply #7 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 09:35 »

Al Davis just signed him.
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« Reply #8 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 09:38 »

Al Davis just signed him.

Yep, he crossed over to the other side, took the elevator down to the boiler room, and there was Al with the contract in hand...
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« Reply #9 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 09:39 »

Any chance we trade 'em Sweed for a 2nd rounder?

Too early?
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otismalibu
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« Reply #10 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 09:42 »

Henry & Housh were the dudes that always seemed to get their catches against the Steelers.

As far as Steelers games go, CJ died about 3 years back.
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bamf16
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« Reply #11 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 09:52 »

And now we can add Chris Henry's name to the list of "potential offensive coordinators better than Bruce Arians."
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pensodyssey
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« Reply #12 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 09:53 »

Man, at what point does a franchise earn the "cursed" label?
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« Reply #13 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 10:05 »

And in Engrish:

Q: How manys tranny is it taking, for to replacement of light bulbous?

A: Chrees Henries will do it... there is what he is doing, nothing else!
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pensodyssey
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« Reply #14 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 10:20 »

C'mon guys.  Show a little respect.  The sad thing about all of this is that I'm sure we'll never hear the media talk about the fact that Chris Henry was a hero.  I have it on good authority that Henry actually died trying to save his girlfriend.  You see, she had only just become old enough to get her learner's permit, and it was illegal for her to drive without an adult in the car...


-OR-

The real cause of the domestic dispute?  Henry found Tiger Woods' number in his girl's cell phone.
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« Reply #15 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 10:31 »

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/121609-Bengals-Henry?GT1=39002

Sad situation.  Another talented athlete who could not get his train wreck of a personal life together.
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« Reply #16 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 10:33 »

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/121609-Bengals-Henry?GT1=39002

It is pathetic that no one could get hold of this guy and help him get his life together.  May be even sadder that, as a 26-year old father of three, he still needed someone to do that for him.
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« Reply #17 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 10:36 »

Well, in fairness Preach, he did credit his girlfriend with helping him turn his life around earlier this year.

And in the end, she really did turn his life around for him.
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« Reply #18 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 10:55 »

Via con dios....
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« Reply #19 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 11:58 »

For every Keith Eloi, there must be a Chris Henry.
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« Reply #20 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 12:24 »

For every Keith Eloi, there must be a Chris Henry.

I had to look that one up, BAM!
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Manimal
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« Reply #21 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 13:13 »

For a lot of these players, their talent with football is almost a curse, Preacherman. I read an article recently -- I'll try to find the link -- that said that 78% of NFL players are either bankrupt or in 'severe financial distress' within two years of leaving football.

Many reasons for this, but basically your run-of-the-mill NFL player never makes enough to be set for life, spent his "education" learning useful skills like "weightlifting" and "wedge busting," has no sense of money or business skills and ends up investing in high-risk ventures like restaurants and car dealerships, won't distance himself from the friends & family who demand money (which I'm sure isn't easy), and, most destructive of all, wind up divorced.

In a lot of ways, they're like lottery winners, who also end up miserable and friendless in large numbers.

Oh, and they might end up with debilitating injuries that the NFL isn't all that generous covering for. This last point, of course, is partly the Union's fault, whose negotiations have created a pay structure that rewards the stars nicely but stiffs the ordinary player.
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« Reply #22 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 13:34 »

This is sad, sad news. God knows we all hate the Bungles but I wouldn't wish that kind of ill-will on ANYONE.
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« Reply #23 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 14:08 »

amen to that.....

although everyone here in the Nati wants to make him a saint now....

This is sad, sad news. God knows we all hate the Bungles but I wouldn't wish that kind of ill-will on ANYONE.
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Manimal
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« Reply #24 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 15:20 »

amen to that.....

although everyone here in the Nati wants to make him a saint now....

This is sad, sad news. God knows we all hate the Bungles but I wouldn't wish that kind of ill-will on ANYONE.

Yeah, when an NFL player dies one of two stories emerge:

(A.) Player with nothing bad in his reputation is made out to be the greatest person ever

(B.) Player with a lifetime of douchebaggery is someone who "was in the process of turning his life around" when he died, even if in idiot fashion, like Mr. Henry here.
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« Reply #25 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 15:27 »

amen to that.....

although everyone here in the Nati wants to make him a saint now....

This is sad, sad news. God knows we all hate the Bungles but I wouldn't wish that kind of ill-will on ANYONE.
In other words, Chris Henry is the 2Pac of Cincinnati?
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« Reply #26 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 15:32 »

amen to that.....

although everyone here in the Nati wants to make him a saint now....

This is sad, sad news. God knows we all hate the Bungles but I wouldn't wish that kind of ill-will on ANYONE.
In other words, Chris Henry is the 2Pac of Cincinnati?

Sounds like an Otis comment!
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« Reply #27 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 16:15 »

Sad news...sounded like the guy was getting his life in order.
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otismalibu
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« Reply #28 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 16:21 »


Not once have I ever dropped my Chris Henry voodoo doll on its head. Not how I roll. Sure a tranny joke here and there. Somewhere, DJF is weeping.

I feel a lot worse for this guy, who had most of his opportunities taken away.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/12/17/florida.dna.exoneration/index.html

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« Reply #29 on: Dec 17, 2009 at 22:39 »

For every Keith Eloi, there must be a Chris Henry.

Holy Shit!  clap
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« Reply #30 on: Dec 18, 2009 at 10:05 »

The 911 tapes and reports that came out last night are ridiculous. 

Eyewitnesses report that a shirtless black guy was standing in the bed of a truck that was cruisin' along at highway speeds...all the while banging on the back windows with a casted arm.

*shakes head*

These guys really think they're invincible.
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« Reply #31 on: Dec 18, 2009 at 10:50 »

The 911 tapes and reports that came out last night are ridiculous. 

Eyewitnesses report that a shirtless black guy was standing in the bed of a truck that was cruisin' along at highway speeds...all the while banging on the back windows with a casted arm.

*shakes head*

These guys really think they're invincible.

Not to mention eyewitness reports that had Tranny threatening to jump and kill herself if Princess Tonga didn't stop the truck.  Hmmmm, you wonder why she wouldn't stop, under those circumstances?

Anyway, Miss Tranny made good on her promise, leaving 3 kids without a father.  Shithead.  It's a sad situation for the kids, but I have no sympathy for that dumbass.
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