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Author Topic: Stupid Vikings mascot homepage  (Read 1565 times)
pensodyssey
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« on: Dec 01, 2010 at 12:24 »

http://www.ragnartheviking.com/about.htm

Dunno how I ended up reading this, or why it annoys me, but on his home page the Vikings mascot claims, "He is the only "human" mascot in professional sports, and is the most widely recognized mascot in the world."

Eh, whazzat? I think more people could identify Youppi than Ragnar the Viking.  

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« Reply #1 on: Dec 01, 2010 at 12:35 »

But he still holds the world record for shaving his assbeard with an axe, 8 minutes 23 seconds.

Can't hold a load of Kashi any more, since he snipped off the pucker, but it's in the books.
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« Reply #2 on: Dec 02, 2010 at 06:19 »

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"He is the only "human" mascot in professional sports

Bill Simmons disagrees.
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« Reply #3 on: Dec 02, 2010 at 12:13 »

There's a Brett Favre Photoshop joke in here somewhere, but I don't have the skills to pull it off.
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« Reply #4 on: Dec 02, 2010 at 12:26 »

I was hesitant to open the article...but Ragnar not only has a wicked cool chopper, but an awesome story. Anytime I hear about how people became addicted to drug and alcohol abuse, then turned to the Lord for salvation and deliverance I want to take a few laps around my house and praise the Lord. God just isn't good...he's great.
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pensodyssey
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« Reply #5 on: Dec 02, 2010 at 12:58 »

Anytime I hear about how people became addicted to drug and alcohol abuse, then turned to the Lord for salvation and deliverance I want to take a few laps around my house and praise the Lord.


I also felt joy at his giving up drugs.  More for me!
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« Reply #6 on: Dec 02, 2010 at 13:49 »

Anytime I hear about how people became addicted to drug and alcohol abuse, then turned to the Lord for salvation and deliverance I want to take a few laps around my house and praise the Lord.


I also felt joy at his giving up drugs.  More for me!

I'll drink to that!
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« Reply #7 on: Dec 02, 2010 at 16:23 »

Anytime I hear about how people became addicted to drug and alcohol abuse, then turned to the Lord for salvation and deliverance I want to take a few laps around my house and praise the Lord.


I also felt joy at his giving up drugs.  More for me!

I'll drink to that!

Only Jesus can prevent forest fires!
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« Reply #8 on: Dec 02, 2010 at 20:27 »

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After Joe moved to Minneapolis in 1986, he began working at Minnetonka High School as a security officer. Joe stayed at Minnetonka until 2000, before moving to Hopkins School District, where he became Assistant Dean of Students

I realize 14 years is a long time, but that still seems like one hell of a leap.
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« Reply #9 on: Dec 02, 2010 at 20:44 »

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After Joe moved to Minneapolis in 1986, he began working at Minnetonka High School as a security officer. Joe stayed at Minnetonka until 2000, before moving to Hopkins School District, where he became Assistant Dean of Students

I realize 14 years is a long time, but that still seems like one hell of a leap.

Being the Vikings mascot brings unimaginable wealth, power, and influence.

He's also a hall monitor and part-time librarian.
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pensodyssey
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« Reply #10 on: Dec 02, 2010 at 22:03 »

Joseph Juranitch was born in Milwaukee during the year 1961.

Oh, born in the year 1961.  I thought you said you were born in the cat 1961!

In 1993, Laurie convinced Joe to audition for the Minnesota Vikings as their new mascot. Through the support of friends, family and the students at Minnetonka, Joe overwhelmingly won the hearts of the Minnesota Viking fans and got the job. His first game was in August of 1994, when the Minnesota Vikings beat the Kansas City Chiefs. Since then Ragnar has been entertaining the crowds, young and old alike.



Somewhere along the line, Joe became Ragnar.  He seemed to find it increasingly difficult to separate the prayer meetings from the rehab sessions.  Did it even matter anymore?, he would catch himself thinking.  It doesn't matter.  No one will notice.   
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« Reply #11 on: Dec 03, 2010 at 00:23 »

I thought you said you were born in the cat 1961!


I laughed my balls off reading this.
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« Reply #12 on: Dec 03, 2010 at 06:23 »

What happens to Ragnar when the 'Queens move to LA?
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« Reply #13 on: Dec 03, 2010 at 08:02 »

Joseph Juranitch was born in Milwaukee during the year 1961.

Oh, born in the year 1961.  I thought you said you were born in the cat 1961! 

I find any reference to dates confusing unless anno domini is appended (if appropriate).  He's a superhero, what's to say he's not nearly 4,000 years old?!
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« Reply #14 on: Dec 03, 2010 at 10:51 »

What happens to Ragnar when the 'Queens move to LA?

Spraytan, yo.
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« Reply #15 on: Dec 03, 2010 at 11:19 »

lmao, and hair resoration.  Spiked slightly, with frosted tips.
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« Reply #16 on: Dec 03, 2010 at 11:39 »

lmao, and hair resoration.  Spiked slightly, with frosted tips.

Lipo, botox, berserker gear ditched for metro look, manicure, collagen injected lips, TMZ expose, rehab, Larry King appearance, rehab again, DWTS, 4-week story arc on Entourage, date a Kardashian until she realizes he's white and not just really faux-tanned, go for creepy orange tan, start dating Snooki and run for the House with hopes of becoming Speaker, bang Palin's daughter, guest critic on Iron Chef America, biography and ensuing biopic starring Justin Bieber as young Ragnar and Jake Gyllenhal as the older Ragnar, rehab again, something nasty involving Charlie Sheen and a goat and a fucking mountain of coke, untimely demise, really crappy song about Ragnar by Elton John that gets played ad nauseam on ET.
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« Reply #17 on: Dec 03, 2010 at 14:20 »

He might take that.  The only unlikely part is banging Snooki.  Is anyone that desperate?
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« Reply #18 on: Dec 03, 2010 at 14:27 »

http://www.ragnartheviking.com/about.htm

Dunno how I ended up reading this, or why it annoys me, but on his home page the Vikings mascot claims, "He is the only "human" mascot in professional sports, and is the most widely recognized mascot in the world."


I liked his Snickers work.  The Capital One stuff, not so much...

Snickers Dark - Feast Trash Can
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« Reply #19 on: Dec 03, 2010 at 14:34 »

He might take that.  The only unlikely part is banging Snooki.  Is anyone that desperate?

Birds of a(n orange) feather...
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pensodyssey
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« Reply #20 on: Dec 03, 2010 at 15:00 »

What about Laurie?  She introduced him to Jesus, got him off the drugs and taught him sign language.  After that, what could Hollywood possibly have to offer?
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« Reply #21 on: Dec 03, 2010 at 15:34 »

Id bang Snookie.  Real good too.



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« Reply #22 on: Dec 04, 2010 at 10:40 »

Ish.
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