MGS FFL 2011 Playoff Preview SPECTACULAR

[pensodyssey]

Yet another scintillating season nears its climax with the advent of the playoffs.  Dreams were dashed; hearts were broken; heroes rose and fell; last year’s champ finished out of the money and Y2J proved once again that you can be competitive with a roster full of Pitters. 

Playoffs?!  Playoffs!?

Spen’s Spen’s Angry Reds

The league’s resident commie decided to share the wealth of fantasy by scoring a second to last point total.  He would go on to blame his failure on the commissioner, the league set-up and a faulty tin foil hat.  He takes Shanahan du jour Roy Helu, Tim Tebow, and RACKERS!! with him.  Keepers: none.

KC’s Keystone Cops

Saddled with Ron Paul campaign stumper Peyton Hillis, KC tried to do it with a cast of special teamers, injured old farts and underachievers.  And Eli Manning.  Keepers:  none.

Cap’n Chaos’ Chaos Unlimited

The sacred Chaos looked poised to make a run at a title defense, but BBR’s early struggles and Mendenhall’s unreliability doomed him to an 11th place finish despite accruing 1000+ points.  Unfortunately he also yielded almost 1200 points.  Keepers: Roethlisberger, maybe.

Brinker’s Jackssmirkinrevenge

Quite possibly the worst team to ever play in thee MGS FFL, and certainly one of the poorest maintained, brinker failed to break the 900-point plateau, the only team to do so.  In his defense his team also yielded 1200+ points, second most in the league.  Also, I’m not sure who Jack is or why his mirkin wants revenge.  Keepers: none.

Now, on to the big show!

#1 Finny’s The Sportin’ Woodleys vs #8 pensodyssey’s Chix of Cromartie-Gao

What a year for the finman.  He’s like the league’s Marv Levy—still competitive into his 80’s.  Rodgers, of course; his points total was nearly half of brinker’s entire team.  But Antonio Brown, Adrian Peterson and Matt Forte were all excellent performers too.  No one could possibly ever hope to even compete with the juggernaut Spurtin’ Weirdlies; but the chickens will do the right thing this weekend and suit up anyway, hoping Mike Vick can finally justify his keeper tag, that Vincent Jackson can put it together two weeks straight, and that Arian Foster will be Arian Foster.  Former Woodley Darren Sproles, too, and Jimmy Graham.  The Woods are pretty banged up coming into this week.

Prediction: The chickens are built for postseason success, but still, Rodgers.  Finny by an assbeard hair.

#4 AJ Law’s Taint Ticklers vs #5 scacalaki’s Hungry Whoremongers

The Homongers were the hard luck team this year, scoring 1300+ but finishing just a game better than .500.  Brady to Welker about sums it up; but Steve Smith’s reappearance and MJD’s workhorsemanship were big contributors also.  AJ’s finish was perhaps a bit flattering; a league low 1050 points allowed had something to do with it.  Cam Newton was a great pick up after he lost Peyton for the year, he has the two Dallas wipeouts in a very friendly matchup, and Shady McCoy could go for 20 any given game. 

Prediction: Brady gets his points, the Whoremongers keep a-monging into round 2.

#3 jonzr’s Felonius Thunk vs #6 kluisi’s BenRapedMeToo

Jonzr’s season was by and large saved by the pick up of DeMarco Murray, and the play of Rob Gronkowski.  They might be peaking at the right time.  Pip Livers might be about to put the hollow December numbers we’ve grown accustomed to.  BRMT is the beneficiary of Chris Johnson’s sudden renaissance, plus he gets a friendly match up versus New Orleans.  Calvin Johnson is about the only Lion left worth having.

Prediction: The Bonzr Schooner rolls on.

#2 msdmnr’s Msdmnr’s Mongrels vs #7 y2joyce’s Experienced Livers

The mongrels boast the third of the must-have qb’s in Brees, and good (if unpredictable) secondary scoring in Harvin, Michael Turner, and Ryan Mathews.  The Livers, though, get a tasty matchup with the Lions’ Stafford against Minnesota and Ray Rice versus Indianapolis.  Seriously, Rice looks like a stone cold lead pipe lock this week.  Could be offset by the Baltimore defense for msdmnr though.

Prediction:  The mongrels advance but barely.  Closest game of the week.

[jonzr]

Good stuff penso, I like the part where thee Felonius Thunk are predicted to prevail. 

[Finnegans Wake]

I gotta hope Rodgers and Lynch carry my M*A*S*H unit team against the Chix, who, it should be noted, were one of my reg season losses.

Have a feeling that I'll be more Schottenheimer in the playoffs than Levy, but the senility part fits.  This morning I gave the dog my blood pressure medicine while I took his Frontline.  At least the Woodleys will be flea-free.

[jonzr]

BTW, I went ahead and got an early start on the roster revisions for the playoffs.  Got rid of the W/T and the W/R but kept the bench for now.

[pensodyssey]

BTW, I went ahead and got an early start on the roster revisions for the playoffs.  Got rid of the W/T and the W/R but kept the bench for now.

Wait... what?  You'd better not be in aj's remote throwing range if you changed the roster set up for the playoffs!

[msdmnr2002]

Well done as always.

I am concerned about the Livers' favorable matchups.  He's got lowest point total of playoff teams, but looks ripe for an explosion.

[Captain Chaos]

Not sure if my championship run last year was a fluke or if this year is just a sophomore slump.  Either way, a bad draft combined with a few bad decisions make for a lousy season.  Looking forward to a better draft slot next year.

Good luck to all those still alive!   

[aj_law]

BTW, I went ahead and got an early start on the roster revisions for the playoffs.  Got rid of the W/T and the W/R but kept the bench for now.

Wait... what?  You'd better not be in aj's remote throwing range if you changed the roster set up for the playoffs!

I haven't looked at the league yet this week, but I assume the roster changes will only happen in 2012?  Can't make setting changes midseason and definitely not before the start of the playoffs.

BTW, nice work on the predictions.

:undertheradar:

Edit:  I'm willing to donate my $37 @ month to hiring Sofia Vergara as our official league spokesperson.  I just want her to sit around and say "Playoff Preview Spectacularrrrr" over and over again.  Rolling R's, of course.

[pensodyssey]

Finny comes out throwing haymakers, getting 14 from Antonio Brown, but the chickens are able to punch their way out of the corner with a strong 8 from IDP Dqwell Jackson.

Bonzr gets an early edge with Polamalu outpointing Wallace by three-quarters, and aj strikes first with a strong 12 from the PSD.

[pensodyssey]

Time for the Rodgers shitshow to begin.  Didn't get nearly enough out of the o'clock games; I actually think I lost points in the second half, Vick interception, Foster and Blount fumbles.  Almost as painful as my severely aching head.  I can feel the backs of my eyeballs.

Also, commish, is there a reason why we get points for rushing attempts but not receptions?  Seems ass backwards.