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Author Topic: What do you tell a child  (Read 3879 times)
aj_law
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« on: Dec 14, 2012 at 23:27 »

that has seen and heard things that no human being should ever have to experience?

I'm trying my best here, but I don't know what to say.
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Finnegans Wake
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« Reply #1 on: Dec 15, 2012 at 08:37 »

I was wondering how close you were to this SD... please tell me this wasn't your SD...
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otismalibu
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« Reply #2 on: Dec 15, 2012 at 10:38 »

I would bring in the professionals. For your standard breaks, bloody noses, etc. you can simply assure the young ones that it's not as bad as they think. WTF do you do with something like this?

A few years back, some fossil drove through the wall of my daughter's elementary school cafeteria. Car came right into the lunch room and killed a kid. We happened to be on vacation at the time. I wondered how many of the kids would be afraid to go back to school or be in the lunch room. Can't imagine what it's going to be like at Sandy Hook Elementary.

Hopefully, for some of the younger kids, these memories will fade over the years.



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aj_law
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« Reply #3 on: Dec 15, 2012 at 10:59 »

This is our town.  This is our school.

Our children were there and made it out alive (can't believe I actually have to say something like that) thanks to the efforts of some incredible, incredible people.  

The teacher that was killed shielding her students was my son's 1st grade teacher last year.

Nightmare.  Somebody wake me up, please.
« Last Edit: Dec 16, 2012 at 22:36 by aj_law » Logged

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« Reply #4 on: Dec 15, 2012 at 13:13 »

Wow, how awful

agree with oat that professionals are the way to go

I can't imagine what you, your family and neighbors are going through
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« Reply #5 on: Dec 15, 2012 at 13:48 »

Truly awful, AJ.  All my condolences, and am glad to hear the law family is safe. 
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Finnegans Wake
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« Reply #6 on: Dec 15, 2012 at 16:33 »

Just so glad your kids are OK, brother, and so sad this happened... period.  Agree with others that you do whatever you can with counseling, and know that kids are resilient. 

It's just terrible for the whole community, and tragic that your kid's teacher was killed. 

Gonna be tough for all of you, not just the kids.  Hug 'em close, man.
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« Reply #7 on: Dec 16, 2012 at 12:06 »

Oh fuck, I had no idea aj.  I'm with otis on this, counselling is the call here.  So sorry to hear this.
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aj_law
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« Reply #8 on: Dec 16, 2012 at 23:16 »

Just three nights ago, our daughter's 4th grade chorus performed in that same NHS auditorium that was used for tonight's services where the POTUS spoke.  Principal Hochsprung was there, smiling as usual.  She gave my daughter and wife a candy cane each.  Haven't seen Vicki Soto since the school year started.  Our son loved her.  He gets choked up (as do we) everytime he sees a picture of her.

Heroes.  That term gets thrown around way too much, but not in this case.  Fucking heroes.

All the pictures of those semi-familiar children's faces.  Heartbreaking.  I can barely turn on the TV or go on the Net because they're everywhere.

The public outpouring of support has been spectacular.  The media feeding frenzy hasn't.  Our quiet town has been turned into a circus.

Please feel free to let those active members that don't have Admin abilities know what's going on.  I was going to post this in the General Discussion forum, but I wanted to keep it semi-private.  I had planned on using it as a place where I can just vent and ramble about stuff if that's OK.

On second thought, somebody can go ahead and move it there.  Probably easier, anyway.  Never know, maybe others out there can provide some advice/guidance on navigating this nightmare too.

Whatevs...

One last thing, hug your kids, nieces, nephews, whoever, a little more often and a little tighter...I know I do.
« Last Edit: Dec 16, 2012 at 23:46 by aj_law » Logged

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« Reply #9 on: Dec 17, 2012 at 14:27 »

AJ, I can't begin to imagine what that's like.  The now is horrible, and who knows how long it will continue.  And just when people are on their way to putting pieces together, there will be the inevitable one year, 5 year, and 10 year followup "how are they doing" segments.

Sorry about the circus.  I wish I could say it was well intentioned, but the media will move on as soon as TVs start turning elsewhere.  A luxury the rest of the world has that sadly you don't.

Even if all we can do is listen, we'll be here for that.
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Big Virgil
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« Reply #10 on: Dec 17, 2012 at 15:20 »

AJ - I can't truly imagine what your family and your community are experiencing.  I can only offer my sympathy for your family and the others affected by this incredibly tragic event. 

You will find the personal and emotional strength to lead your family through this crazy time.  Your family and community will become stronger, if nothing else, in honor of the victims.   

Any time you need to vent, ramble, or ask advice, we will be here to listen and provide anything we can.





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« Reply #11 on: Dec 17, 2012 at 15:27 »

From LTB2...

Oh my god - I'm SO glad his kids are okay. This thing is so unbearable - even though I don't have children I have lots of nieces and nephews - it just hurts my heart. I have been in tears on and off since Friday. I can't even imagine what it must be like to be in those parents' shoes. I don't even know what to say to AJ - please let him know I am thinking of him, his family and the people there with love and support.....
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leighclay
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« Reply #12 on: Dec 17, 2012 at 20:12 »

AJ,

Finny & Otis both let me know about your family and your kids since I've been a little MIA around these parts.

I cannot imagine what you, your family or your kids are going through. I, like so many other, have been in tears since Friday. It's hard for ME to go on the Net, look at the newspapers, etc. How you get through the day without breaking down is beyond me.

I agree with several who have said counseling, but just you being there for your kids is going to do so much for them and for you. Be together. Cherish each other. Take joy in every moment you have.

We're all here for you, whatever you need. I wish I could come to Newtown and just BE there to do whatever needs to be done. Bring my dogs and let them give all their unconditional love and joy to anyone who needs it.

Peace be with you AJ. All my love and prayers to you and yours. Please give them all an extra tight hug from Aunt LC.
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« Reply #13 on: Dec 17, 2012 at 21:34 »

So sorry to hear all of this AJ.  I cannot imagine what the last four days have been like, but I wish all the best to your family and community.

I echo the other comments regarding counseling, both for the kids as well as the parents, because I would image that their recovery has a lot to do with how those they look up to cope.  I truly wish you the best.
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« Reply #14 on: Dec 17, 2012 at 22:46 »

I have no words of wisdom to pass along to you AJ, only my heart felt sympathy to you, your family, friends and neighbors.  It's impossible to make sense out of a senseless situation.  Stay strong and be brave for your children.  The human spirit seems to find a way.
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kluisi61
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« Reply #15 on: Dec 18, 2012 at 12:48 »

AJ...can't believe that I actually know someone personally affected by this tragedy. My wife and I watched the news over the weekend and both had tears in our eyes for what the victims (all the kids at the school, the teachers, and the parents of the children) had to have been going through (even when there was no personal connection).

I can't say that we know what you are going through, but as parents ourselves, we do understand what it would do to us if any of that happened to our children. My wife had trouble sending the kids to pre-school on Monday. Make sure that you are taking care of the family and that you, the Mrs., and your kids are getting any and all help that you think you might require.

If there's anything that we can do, don't hesitate to ask. I'm sorry for all that you and your family had to go through.
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aj_law
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« Reply #16 on: Dec 19, 2012 at 00:18 »

My son adored Vicki.  We did too.  A great teacher and an even better person.  We just came from her viewing services.  Pretty sure my wife and I have never cried like that.  My fuckin' chest hurts.

Young people do not belong in caskets.

She was a sweetheart.  A HERO. 

Please help make this happen. 

Petition to award Vicki Soto the Medal of Freedom.
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kluisi61
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« Reply #17 on: Dec 19, 2012 at 05:55 »

I just signed.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S3 using Tapatalk 2.
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OK Chris. Now that we have practiced kissing and cuddling, we'll practice eating out...at a fancy restaurant.

 - Lois Griffin

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Goal Line Blitz - Football player and team simulator...Very Fun.

Fallen Sword - MMORPG that is very fun. No ads and it's free.

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« Reply #18 on: Dec 19, 2012 at 14:06 »

I also signed it. And I'm sharing on Facebook & Twitter.
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Finnegans Wake
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« Reply #19 on: Dec 19, 2012 at 14:48 »

Signed.
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« Reply #20 on: Dec 20, 2012 at 11:10 »

I am sorry to hear that AJ, but I am very glad your children are unharmed.
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aj_law
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« Reply #21 on: Dec 14, 2013 at 18:20 »

Forever in our hearts.



I've been meaning to update this thread with some information and random thoughts, but I always seem to find a way to procrastinate my way out of it.

Soon.
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jonzr
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« Reply #22 on: Dec 15, 2013 at 13:20 »

The school was razed recently, was it not?
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Finnegans Wake
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« Reply #23 on: Dec 16, 2013 at 08:09 »

One of the victims' parents was recently asking that people respect their privacy, and dedicate themselves to charitable acts this year.  Seems like good advice, IMO. 
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aj_law
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« Reply #24 on: Dec 16, 2013 at 13:02 »

The school was razed recently, was it not?

Yes, took around a month to complete.  It was a slow and arduous project as they're trying to be sensitive and careful for obvious reasons.  I believe that are looking to protect certain areas as sacred ground.  Somewhat similar to the WTC footprint idea.

One of the victims' parents was recently asking that people respect their privacy, and dedicate themselves to charitable acts this year.  Seems like good advice, IMO.

Google 26 Random Acts of Kindness.  Tread carefully on the various Facebook pages; lot of powerful stuff there.

Note number of candles in my pic.  The number 26 carries a new significance for me.
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aj_law
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« Reply #25 on: Dec 19, 2013 at 13:24 »

I'm guessing some have seen this, but for those that didn't...

Unfortunately, it peeled back a few layers of my Raven hatred.

Ravens Angel: Josephine Gay


The Sandy Ground Project:  Where Angels Play has been an incredible initiative.  Another example of the truly good in some people.  Earlier this year, I went to one of the playground builds in Long Island for the daughter (Caroline Previdi) of a high school classmate of mine.  I went with the intention of volunteering some of my time to help build a place where kids can be kids again.  I helped a little, but truth be told, I felt like I was mostly in the way.  In the end, I spent most of the time there just observing; watching this place come together.  All those people...volunteering ...working from morning to night to get this project done for a bunch of strangers a couple hundred miles away.  It was amazing.  That was a rough, two hour car ride home.
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