Maximum Grilled Steelers Forum
Oct 19, 2014 at 23:57 *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
 
  Home   Forum   Help Calendar Media Login Register  
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Adrian Peterson  (Read 3119 times)
Finnegans Wake
Global Moderator
Old School Member
*****

Karma: 12194
Offline Offline

Posts: 22,317



« on: Sep 15, 2014 at 14:23 »

Curious to know the board's assessment of this one.

On one hand, my experience and probably that of many (probably older) posters was that there was very infrequent use of pain-inducing discipline when I was young.  The most frequent discipline was a stern talking-to, but there were a few spankings, none of them particularly severe, and maybe a handful of times the wooden paddle or wooden spoon made an appearance.  YMMV.  If I had children, I would not use wooden objects, period, not that I found the experience physically or psychologically scarring -- I just think there are much better ways.  Spanking using the hand?  I don't know, I probably would not want to do that and would avoid it.  Much easier done when you don't actually have kids.  And then I see "parenting" where the children run the show and the "discipline" is laughable.  There has to be a happy medium, and I see that in verbal discipline.

So, I understand people come from all sorts of backgrounds, and my first inclination was to cut Peterson some slack.  But having seen the pics, and his texts to the child's mother, I'm a little less forgiving.  People grow up in homes where fathers abuse their wives, and we can all agree that spousal abuse is wrong, even far short of the violence Ray Rice used.  So why should it be any different with child abuse?  Peterson has said he does not intend to stop "whoopin' " his children, though he may stop using tree branches.  And, hopefully, belts.  Here I thought the idea of any sort of discipline, whether it involved corporal punishment or not, was to stop bad behavior, not to leave scars (physical or otherwise).  I don't think Peterson understands that.  

Again, if we are willing to suspend NFL players indefinitely for spousal abuse, should the punishment be any different for child abuse?  And let's be clear here, I'm not calling for people who spank their kids to be canned by the NFL, but I do think that if you beat your child to the point of leaving open wounds, and to the extent of the areas Peterson hit his child, then it is child abuse.  Sorry, there's no way around that.  I don't want child abusers or guys who punch their wives unconscious to play in the NFL, but that said Adrian Peterson is without doubt the best RB of the past decade and the game would be poorer for him being removed from it.  The worst part of it is that Peterson, and his attorney, don't seem to think that this is any big deal -- it's just how things are done in North Texas, and people who don't get it are being too PC presumably.  Bogus defense aside, it is troubling that Peterson doesn't get it.  Someone should have sat him down and had a talk about what constitutes child abuse and what some potential outcomes of that can be (such as, oh I don't know, those kids growing up and beating their children with tree branches).  

The abuse didn't result in anything so egregious as Janay Rice being knocked unconscious and dragged through a lobby, but it is still child abuse.  What's the approach the NFL should take?  What does Peterson deserve?
« Last Edit: Sep 15, 2014 at 14:29 by Finnegans Wake » Logged

Out of my mind on Saturday night...
msdmnr2002
Old School Member
*****

Karma: 2838
Offline Offline

Posts: 2,626



WWW
« Reply #1 on: Sep 15, 2014 at 18:46 »

It's tough to say there is a right way here. For those who say absolutely never ever put your hand to a child, I get it. I tried to avoid spanking as much as possible - never used anything other than my hand, which I feel is all you need. Sometimes the child simply won't respond to any sort of other discipline.

The problem is, any discipline should be done under control. Physical punishment more so than any. Unfortunately, parents often resort to that when they are mad, which strongly increases the odds of overdoing it.

Had someone tell me once "one spank is discipline, two is anger, three or more is abuse." Not sure who agrees, but I think it's a pretty good guideline.

FYI, I'm totally OK with taking spanking out of schools. I had a few, and it didn't bother me long term, but I don't want my kid's fate in that area in the hands of an overworked, pissed off and frustrated teacher.
Logged
Finnegans Wake
Global Moderator
Old School Member
*****

Karma: 12194
Offline Offline

Posts: 22,317



« Reply #2 on: Sep 15, 2014 at 21:14 »

I think that's a pretty reasonable assessment, msdmnr.  I think if you're breaking the skin or leaving a mark, that's over the line, clearly.

And now it looks like this is a pattern of "discipline."  So if this was alleged before, there was no one to counsel him?  Not with the NFL's many resources, no coaches, no agent, no one took him aside and had a talk about the previous incident?
Logged

Out of my mind on Saturday night...
jonzr
Asst. VP, Jonzring
Global Moderator
Old School Member
*****

Karma: 11363
Online Online

Posts: 11,561


Have a cup o' joe.


WWW
« Reply #3 on: Sep 16, 2014 at 11:58 »

Yeah, this is a very touchy subject.  I was spanked with a wooden paddle when younger, my mom was a high school teacher and she paddled kids at school, out in the hallway, it's the way things were done in the 70's in OK.  But the spankings at home were few and far between and left no marks.  Had a grandmother who took a switch to my cousin and I a few times, we were ornery little fuckers, no doubt we deserved it.

I spanked our first kid but not the second.  Turns out discipline can be had if both parents provide a unified front and are consistent with their requirements.  Let the conditioning begin early!  My opinion only though.

As for Peterson, wow.  It must have been a brutal whipping to still have scabby wounds a week later.  And as I understand it, he has 7 kids with 5 mothers, right?  So what kind of parental figure is he to these kids?  I feel myself getting kinda judgy.  But I don't see how he has any business disciplining the kids at all, other than tossing them in time out.  OK, so you contributed DNA and presumably pay child support.  So what, is that supposed to buy the right to beat your kids?  Don't think so.
Logged

"I like David Bowie, he was always my favorite member of Tin Machine."
- Rodney Anonymous

It's a Steeler Nation
pensodyssey
Halfsharkalligator halfman.
Global Moderator
Old School Member
*****

Karma: 8121
Offline Offline

Posts: 9,722



« Reply #4 on: Sep 17, 2014 at 19:27 »

My dad was elementary school principal and I grew up in the 70's.  I was corporally punished both at school and at home, by parents and grandparents, and in all honesty, I probably deserved every lick I ever got.  I am not in anywise against corporal punishment in theory.  Unfortunately, there's no feasible way to police the line between reasonable punishment and abuse.  I see things about once a month on the subway or elsewhere in public that I find abhorrent from parents (or minders) of all colors and evident social caste, whether it's threats, grabbing, or complete inattention to the child. 

All of which is by way of saying, I'm glad I never had kids.
Logged

A shabby Charlie Brown.
SCacalaki
Global Moderator
Old School Member
*****

Karma: 4449
Offline Offline

Posts: 14,328


WWW
« Reply #5 on: Sep 20, 2014 at 18:59 »

My parents spanked me, never with a switch or anything of that sort.  Probably created a fear of my dad; not sure that I effectively associated it with the bad action or poor decision I made, though it could be argued that if the fear of my dad's retribution made me avoid stealing or lying, that is enough. 

I haven't and do not plan on spanking my kids.  Just don't feel the need to do it and feel thatt behavior modification can be achieved non-physical means.  I think it comes down to me not being able to fathom putting my hands on my kids in a way that would be hurtful, even if simply for a few moments.

I don't think spanking kids is wrong from a more macro perspective but I don't know any of my friends who do it and it would be a surprise if I were at their house or they at mine and it occurred.  Just haven't been around it since it occurred to me as a kid.
Logged

Words to live by:  "Dick LeBeau is Dick LeBeau," Tomlin said. "Everybody knows Dick."
aj_law
Global Moderator
Old School Member
*****

Karma: 5533
Offline Offline

Posts: 15,083


« Reply #6 on: Sep 20, 2014 at 20:40 »

I used to get it as a child with whatever was handy...spoon, shoe, slipper, belt, etc.  Looking back, I consider myself a pretty good kid, but I can't say one way or another if it's because my parents used to whoop my ass "when I deserved it."

Am I a corporal punishment advocate?  I guess you could say I am...within reason.  While I haven't gone to the levels that my parents did (and certainly wouldn't venture into Petersen territory...), I occasionally spank my kids or tug on their ears "when I feel they've deserved it."

However, I'll also admit that more often than not, I feel guilty afterwards...especial ly in the last year and a half or so.
Logged

We suck because our drafts have been THE SUCK.
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  


Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.20 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines
SimplePortal 2.3.6 © 2008-2014, SimplePortal
| Sitemap
Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!