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Author Topic: Andre Johnson cuts off his Johnson, jumps off a building. Wow.  (Read 3829 times)
Finnegans Wake
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« on: Apr 16, 2014 at 15:21 »

Not even a joke.
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jonzr
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« Reply #1 on: Apr 17, 2014 at 09:51 »

Whenever your name is mentioned in a sentence like this, "Johnson, along with his recovered penis...", you know life has taken a wrong turn.
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aj_law
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« Reply #2 on: Apr 17, 2014 at 13:46 »

What...I don't even...
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Finnegans Wake
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« Reply #3 on: Apr 17, 2014 at 19:47 »

The moment you're lying in the grass, looking over at your junk a few feet away from you, and you're reconsidering the last 20 minutes of your life? 

Eye to eye with the one eye?

Dude.  You needed a gun or sumpin.
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pensodyssey
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« Reply #4 on: Apr 17, 2014 at 22:15 »

He's like the human Big Lebowski reference.
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A shabby Charlie Brown.
msdmnr2002
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« Reply #5 on: Apr 18, 2014 at 14:23 »

From Foxnews:

Members of Northstar told TMZ they were there when Johnson, without warning, cut off his penis and leaped. They said by the time they got downstairs he was running around screaming.

They also said hard drugs were not involved, and believe Johnson must have mental problems


Well if drugs were not involved, then I think "mental problems" is a safe bet.  Not the most well thought out plan if the jump didn't even seriously injure.

ALso, A spokesperson for the hospital said it does not comment on patients, but TMZ reports that attempts to reattach Johnson's penis failed.

That will not help with the mental issues any.
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jonzr
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« Reply #6 on: Apr 18, 2014 at 15:01 »

I forsee a new alt-theater musical, "Andre and the Angry Johnson".
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aj_law
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« Reply #7 on: Apr 21, 2014 at 09:16 »


ALso, A spokesperson for the hospital said it does not comment on patients, but TMZ reports that attempts to reattach Johnson's penis failed.

If it doesn't exist already, somebody needs to create a "Thanks, Obama" gif for that.
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